What if S.T.A.L.K.E.R games were more like SRP?

[Knife_cz]

So yeah I had this silly idea since nobody seems to be playing these 'Fast threads games' anymore. I belive it can be pretty good/original game, if you just think about the the srp, and what used to be like...urghhh 'normal' there.
So let me explain how to play:
Basically, what if Stalker games were using the 'main' perks and gameplay from srp? Ill give some examples.


0. When you die you respawn later, only with your suit and money (Unless they tied you, silly me).

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  1. Every stalker in Zone could chat with you.

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  2. Female lesbian stalkers / Military experiments stalkers coming to Zone.

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  3. Only 8 people in each faction at once, since they have 'cap'.

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  4. Nearly every Stalker would like to rob you.

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  5. You'd need creator's auth to get Exosuit/SKAT/SEVA.

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  6. Sometime you would see a jumping stalker on one place.

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  7. Rarely you'd see stalkers lying on the floor, yelling 'Can I IRP instead of death?'

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  8. You'd be called 'stalker' in the ranking, in the PDA. Since you bought only 20€ version.

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  9. When you shoot someone it a sign pops out right next to him - damage report.

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  10. When you kill someone, suddenly his friends pop out of nowhere, knowing exactly where you are. (Uhuhu what could have caused this?)

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  11. Every melee hit to head is instant KO.

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  12. Nearly every factioner is pretty angry-looking.

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  13. When you enter DUTY you are always searched.

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  14. You can be bloodsucker if you bought the Limited Edition!

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  15. Freedom is was the only active faction/duty doesn't appear in any of the games.

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  16) if you display any kind of suspicious behaviour, you will be killed for being a bandit.

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  17) knowing admins will get you any kind of gear or positions

• 
  18) complaining, no matter how constructive, about the game is going to earn you a reputation damage.

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  19) being an admin gives you access to the cheat self-reward menu.

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  20) (Admin gameplay)

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  21) Everyone is 7ft super strong fearless 1337 ninjas with super skills.

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  22) freedom has reached the first stages of parkinson's , often having random head spasms and constantly nodding at you

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  23) Traders never give jobs. Money appears in your pockets magically instead.

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  24) Everyone speaks English but by some unknown force they belive that they are actually speaking Russian/Ukranian.

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  25) Mutants are taking gear off dead stalkers for unknown reasons.

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  26) Every medkit has infinite amount of morphine/bandages and bloodpacks.

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  27) A sniper has to tell you that he shot you.

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  28) Bodies are disappearing, even inside buildings by unknown force.

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  29. Every Stalker has a similar back story of murdered parents.

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  30. Every person in the zone has once been in Monolith and escaped it's grasp.

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  31. Every stalker is capable of smuggling illegal things through the Duty checkpoint

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  32. Exos can stop assault rifle bullets point blank range

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  33. Everyone who enters the Zone has a makarov and ammo in their pockets magically

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  34) Ecologists are not actual doctors or scientist and are not in the zone to study it but are instead evil mad deranged scientist who wish to perform nazi like torture experiments. Oh and to use the artifacts for sexual pleasure.

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  35) Being forced to miss people when they're right next to you.

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  36) Backflips

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  37) Hitting a target is dependant on rolling dice.

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  38) The Makarov might as well be a melee weapon due to it's inaccuracy

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  39) Military soldiers on checkpoint can no longer be bribed to get throught. They shoot you on sight instead.

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      b) Even if you are hired by Military, and you are 'milimerc' you still have a chance to be shot on sight.

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      c) Sometime there are no soldiers at the checkpoint, and if you walk inside their checkpoint / or further inside their base - a wild Hind appears.

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  40) Emission? /charfallover

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  41) Change char then change char again to avoid fights and avoid gear loss.

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  42) Bloodsuckers are more common than zombies

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  43) Traders have an unlimited stock that they hold inside of their hands

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  44) Faction leaders fight and wear heavy armor

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  45) Freedom is more liked than Duty

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  45) Duty is more centered around themselves than helping Stalkers

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  46) Duty is teenage boys

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  47) a) Stalkers are women (TnB)

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        b) Stalkers are really teenage boys

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  48) It doesn't matter how good you are, you will never get respect unless you're an admin, in which case people just kiss your ass

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  49) You have to be an admin to get anything

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  50) If you are not an admin, you can't have any suits

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  51) a) Your life means nothing

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        b) The life of your faction members means nothing

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  52) Fuck

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  53) If you somehow get captured by Military, they will most likely torture you like sadists instead of putting a bullet inside your head.

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  54) A new important perk in the game : you can have companions.

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  54) b) Your companions are actually bandits planning to rob you later. Then each other. They will kill you regardless though.

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  55) If you attempt you join a faction you must go through a considerable amount of paperwork.

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  56) Throwing money at Silver will result in magically obtained Grozas and Exo suits.

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  57) You will never see anyone because no-one is ever on.

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  58. If you're using makarov you might as well use your bare hands because people can suddenly take several 9x18 rounds to the torso, also a crowbar does even more damage than a makarov for some reason.

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  59. Somehow even if you are hit your light kevlar vest will stop that AK round and you won't feel any pain or even stumble.

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  60. Occasionally every stalker gets together to drive around the Zone for the magical gods to give them gear.

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  61. Even small amounts of radiation kill you in under five minutes.

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  62. Factions don't actually fight because they might lose their gear. Military is an exception because they have infinite hinds.

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  63) Sewers and undergrounds are a walk in the park due to inactivity of mutants.

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  64) From time to time you meet a stalker named 'sdsadsadsa dsfkfsefesfef'

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  65) INA7HAN can't read/count

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  66) You can breath under water.

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  67) If you wear a Trenchcoat, you are automatically bandit. If you wear merc suit - you are mercenary. Therefore if you wear Freedom suit in SoC, you will get shot by DUTY : ( ).

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  68) slaves happen, and everyone tries to be a white knight. -everyone- (except military they liked slave operations for some reason)

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  69) All females are whores

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  70) Freedom and Duty have the same amount of suits and protection, for example, the same amount of Exoskeletons, even though Freedom is terrorism and Duty is rich zone police

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  71) Exoskeleton frame somehow makes your old suit almost bulletproof.

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  72) If you don't own 3-4 other games loosly related to the game you will get ERRORS and purple and black checked textures

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  74) Every once in a while everyone stops and their minds telepathically argue about stupid fucking shit, during this time people usually hop around and spin randomly.

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  75) After dying and respawning, you need to pretent that you got no idea how you died.

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  76) a) (Old SRP) Even if you are not a mercenary, you want a mercenary suit because of how immensely cheap they are and how little they cost.

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        b) (New SRP) Even if you are not a mercenary, you want a mercenary suit because of how immensely powerful they are and how much they cost.

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  77) Occasionally a strong gust of wind comes in from the north and blows over comrade chorei

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   A) No matter where comrade Chorei is, underground, inside. No matter what he'll be knocked over anyway

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  78) Nightvision is completly useless at night.

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  79) When it gets dark outside, you will go blind, regardless of any light sources.

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  80) Everyone will tell you "Get out of here STALKER" even if you're supposed to be there or were invited for any reason.

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  81) Sometimes you will see someone standing still for hours on end doing nothing. (Money farming)

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  82) If you tried to rob a barkeep pre-2009, you would likely find yourself with a 12 inch sausage shoved up your ass.

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  83) Sometimes if you pointed your flashlight in the air you could see strange shadows that resembled stalkers usually in exoskeletons.

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  84) Monolith will often stare menacingly at you instead of attacking immediately.
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  -Since someone had alot of time (yes it was Gonztah, how did you know?) we will put these in the first post, so you do not have to scroll down that much. Continue on page three lol.

• And so on, I belive you can make some funny ones : ( ).
  
  
  Edit: Jesus, the title is supposed to be 'What if S.T.A.L.K.E.R games were more like SRP?' not 'What is S.T.A.L.K.E.R games were more like SRP?' Hope nobody noticed before I could fix it :o
• Edit2: It was copied from pastebin.com , that's why the letters have..such color.

[SGT-Spartans]

Smells like a GVC post.




EDIT


Unless you are making a game out of this.




15. Freedom is was the only active faction/duty doesn't appear in any of the games.



EDIT


Is to Was

[jaik]

16) if you display any kind of suspicious behaviour, you will be killed for being a bandit.
17) knowing admins will get you any kind of gear or positions
18) complaining, no matter how constructive, about the game is going to earn you a reputation damage.

[jaik]

19) being an admin gives you access to the cheat self-reward menu.

[lolKieck]

20)

[INA7HAN]

21) Everyone is 7ft super strong fearless 1337 ninjas with super skills.

[jaik]

20)

lol

[Otto]

22) freedom has reached the first stages of parkinson's , often having random head spasms and constantly nodding at you

[Tom]

23) Traders never give jobs. Money appears in your pockets magically instead.

[Knife_cz]

23) Traders never give jobs. Money appears in your pockets magically instead.

LOL, hilarious one.
24) Everyone speaks English but by some unknown force they belive that they are actually speaking Russian/Ukranian.
25) Mutants are taking gear off dead stalkers for unknown reasons.
26) Every medkit has infinite amount of morphine/bandages and bloodpacks.
27) A sniper has to tell you that he shot you.
28) Bodies are disappearing, even inside buildings by unknown force.

Ï can't get rid off the feeling that I am missing something, something that should have been posted already.
(Credit to Miller for 26/27, he is '2lazy2write' :3)

[Khorn]

29. Every Stalker has a similar back story of murdered parents.
30. Every person in the zone has once been in Monolith and escaped it's grasp.

[Gonztah]

31. Every stalker is capable of smuggling illegal things through the Duty checkpoint
32. Exos can stop assault rifle bullets point blank range
33. Everyone who enters the Zone has a makarov and ammo in their pockets magically

[Tom]

34) Ecologists are not actual doctors or scientist and are not in the zone to study it but are instead evil mad deranged scientist who wish to perform nazi like torture experiments. Oh and to use the artifacts for sexual pleasure.

[HitMan5523]

35) Being forced to miss people when they're right next to you.

[nKe]

35) Being forced to miss people when they're right next to you.

36) Backflips

[Lucky Pig]

34) Ecologists are not actual doctors or scientist and are not in the zone to study it but are instead evil mad deranged scientist who wish to perform nazi like torture experiments. Oh and to use the artifacts for sexual pleasure.

OH GOD! I actually remember Blake showing an artifact up a Bandits ass.

[Tom]

34) Ecologists are not actual doctors or scientist and are not in the zone to study it but are instead evil mad deranged scientist who wish to perform nazi like torture experiments. Oh and to use the artifacts for sexual pleasure.

OH GOD! I actually remember Blake showing an artifact up a Bandits ass.

One of many successful experiments in the field of "Blake Science"

[lolKieck]

37) Hitting a target is dependant on rolling dice.

[INA7HAN]

38) The Makarov might as well be a melee weapon due to it's inaccuracy

[Knife_cz]

39) Military soldiers on checkpoint can no longer be bribed to get throught. They shoot you on sight instead.
    b) Even if you are hired by Military, and you are 'milimerc' you still have a chance to be shot on sight.
    c) Sometime there are no soldiers at the checkpoint, and if you walk inside their checkpoint / or further inside their base - a wild Hind appears.

[ThY]

40) Emission? /charfallover

[INA7HAN]

41) Change char then change char again to avoid fights and avoid gear loss.

[Lent23]

42) Bloodsuckers are more common than zombies
43) Traders have an unlimited stock that they hold inside of their hands
44) Faction leaders fight and wear heavy armor
45) Freedom is more liked than Duty
45) Duty is more centered around themselves than helping Stalkers
46) Duty is teenage boys
47) a) Stalkers are women (TnB)
      b) Stalkers are really teenage boys
48) It doesn't matter how good you are, you will never get respect unless you're an admin, in which case people just kiss your ass
49) You have to be an admin to get anything
50) If you are not an admin, you can't have any suits
51) a) Your life means nothing
      b) The life of your faction members means nothing
52) Fuck

[Tom]

39) Military soldiers on checkpoint can no longer be bribed to get throught. They shoot you on sight instead.
    b) Even if you are hired by Military, and you are 'milimerc' you still have a chance to be shot on sight.
    c) Sometime there are no soldiers at the checkpoint, and if you walk inside their checkpoint / or further inside their base - a wild Hind appears.

Should be more like "If you approach the checkpoint or encounter military you have a high chance of being tortured" I remeber the days when it was like that.

[Knife_cz]

53) If you somehow get captured by Military, they will most likely torture you like sadists instead of putting a bullet inside your head.

I remember how they burnt me alive once. It was on...urghhh Redemption I belive. Heh.


54) A new important perk in the game : you can have companions.