HyperGaming Network

Spades_Neil · **on:** 27-01-2012

(~~Hope this formats properly.~~ Or BBCode can go fuck its self. Features people from SRP. Constructive critique is desired.)

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7795390/1/The_Life_and_Times_of_Dimitri_Voyla

Overwatch · **Reply #1 on:** 27-01-2012

Two niggling points "I reached my reach" And there needs to be more, So much more :3

Dark Angel · **Reply #2 on:** 27-01-2012

Pasha shortening from name Pavel is purely male name, can't be used for female in any form.
Regular GPSes don't work in the zone according to books, local self setup stations are used instead.
Again According to book description Zone is more or less sealed by barbed wire lines, many military patrol lines, posts and mine fields.

Except for that looks rather fine i guess :)

Spades_Neil · **Reply #3 on:** 27-01-2012

Quote from: Overwatch on 27-01-2012

Two niggling points "I reached my reach" And there needs to be more, So much more :3

wat. Typos? In my story?! Blasphemy! I will eradicate these typos upon the next proof reading.

Quote from: Dark Angel on 27-01-2012

Pasha shortening from name Pavel is purely male name, can't be used for female in any form.
Regular GPSes don't work in the zone according to books, local self setup stations are used instead.
Again According to book description Zone is more or less sealed by barbed wire lines, many military patrol lines, posts and mine fields.

Except for that looks rather fine i guess :)

Pasha, I'll probably edit the name then. It's not like it's so vital that it cannot be changed.
Didn't know the bit about the GPSes, but so far I've not attempted to use them. Therefore, I'll keep this in mind when I -do- use the GPS and find out, "GPS, Y U NO WORK?!"
And yea, the Zone here is surrounded by barbed wire and shit too. But the military gets their supplies somehow. Why not a train? :D

Constructive critique is always welcome.