Might as well.

[Overwatch]

Well, I usually talk to hitman when I'm feeling down. But I think I've lapped too much shit at him recently and I don't want to keep doing it.

I feel confused about life, honestly in damn near every aspect.

I don't know where to start and I'm probably rambling here and there.

I feel like I was born the wrong gender, that I'd get along in life better as a female, and I've even tried to recreate this at Infusion Gaming, and it didn't help that they reinforced this way of thinking as I made it to Sever Operator there, and I've had a really damned hard time being worth any value at other communities. But It's not that simple, it's not like I 'like' men, I still like women and honestly I have a damned hard time even leaving the house. Just going up to my front door is fucking terrifying, I feel like such a fucking waste of space I don't know what to do, that If I go outside everyone would plain fucking hate me the moment they met me. When I finally have to go to school I can't talk to anyone. I stay silent and I stay at the back of any room I have to be in, and more people think it's creepy and hate me for it. No one talks to me or wants to, and combining this with the last problem, makes me think suicide is a far more fucking valid option. That something might just become better in the world, hell I've even thought I might be re-introduced to the world as someone else that isn't such a valueless fuckup.  I'm a pathetic fucking wreck that cries himself to sleep at night. I even started watching my fucking little pony for the basic lessons it could teach me about  life. But that just made me a bigger fucking mess when trying to implement those values into life and explain it to other people. This is really hard to type and I'm crying a fucking lot. But I grasping onto any value that maybe this spouting of shit will fall on someone that knows how to make anything better. I'd say I can't bring this up with friends, but you, who ever's taking the time to read my wrecking fucking ball of shit, are all I can classify as a friend. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore and it's tearing me fucking apart. Why does everyone else in my school all talk and run about, why am I so shit at fitting in that  I can't even fit in with the people that don't fucking fit in. I know trying to talk about this shit on HGN is only going to make what little fucking reputation I have left here diminish into thin-fucking-air but I figured this was a step up from sky-diving. Reputation; like that's even worth a shit, what do people even think of me here, some retarded asshole that watches MLP and think'd be funny to take HL2 And MLP into an alias. Fucking pathetic.

[Khorn]

-Yea, I don't think so.

[Overwatch]

I know suicide shouldn't be an option but it's a pretty damned recurring one, I even dream about being other people and how they would be like in other situations. But any waking moment almost seems like a torment.

[Khorn]

-Just removing unneeded advice..

[Redbark]

I read through the whole thing. To me you are funny, humorous, and creative. Go talk to people. I am also very depressed. It happens randomly suicide is not the option. Go talk to people. And wanna know something? My life is fucked also. Ever since those people found out I was a brony I swear I also felt like shit.

But really enjoy lif as it lasts. If you kill yourself you go to hell. Enjoy life as it lasts. Don't kill yourself. It will only cause grief to others.

No homo but you are a great person. I mean it

[RanmaChan]

If you kill yourself you go to hell.

All I have to say is wow.

[Redbark]

If you kill yourself you go to hell.

All I have to say is wow.

Well... Living in a very religious family takes you places... Heh. But really back to overpony

[Overwatch]

Well, good to know you jumped over the rest of what I said...


But again, you seem like a kid to me. A kid that goes through the same shit any of Nerd kid would. I went through it. My friends went through it. My girl friend too.

Everyone now and days goes through it. It's called being a teenager. Everyone goes through these rough times. Some more harder than others. I got kicked out of my house when I was younger. Basically lived on my own for about 6 months.
Figuratively bitched slapped my parents when I passed High school with a nice GPA.


Also, if you can, join a theater class, either as a Actor, or Stage Tech. Constructing sets is fun. And if you're lucky, maybe you make friends.


Lastly, college. A new chance to start things over. A great place to meet up with people. Much more friendly atmosphere than High school. I don't know much about other colleges in other places, but all the ones I went to and visited seemed chill. And having a campus reputation was limited to a very select few.

Yeah, I know I can't really complain, I know theirs people worse off than me. A group for doing things sounds like it'd end up well, since everyone's wanting to do the same thing.

And I don't plan on college. Joining the police next november's been an ambition since I was seven, not sure if it was correctly placed, just because we had one of those visits where the Officer comes in and lets you try a hat on. But the embodiment of a uniform, being judged by what you wear, and finally for a better cause sounds awfully appealing to me.

I read through the whole thing. To me you are funny, humorous, and creative. Go talk to people. I am also very depressed. It happens randomly suicide is not the option. Go talk to people. And wanna know something? My life is fucked also. Ever since those people found out I was a brony I swear I also felt like shit.

But really enjoy lif as it lasts. If you kill yourself you go to hell. Enjoy life as it lasts. Don't kill yourself. It will only cause grief to others.

No homo but you are a great person. I mean it

It's almost awkward to hear that about me. I thought I was making such an arse of myself the last few weeks.

If you kill yourself you go to hell.

All I have to say is wow.

Time and a place, Ramna.

[Paintcheck]

Talk to a psychiatrist. You are not alone with any of those feelings (I have had no fewer than 3 members of this very community express almost all of those same concerns to me at various points). It will help a lot. Your school very likely has some sort of system set up for kids who need help, if you have a teacher or parent or someone you could talk to that would make the process easier. There are a lot of people just like you and those feelings aren't unusual (although on a random note I am curious as to why such a high percentage of roleplayers are bisexual/transgendered/otherwise not completely straight) but the only way you are going to feel better is if you talk to someone who actually knows how to help. Having been the one person a friend of mine wanted to talk to about issues like this there was only so much I could say before I didn't know what else to do so talking to a professional is really your best option despite how hard it is to do. You will feel better.

[ThY]

You're welcome to chat to me on mic when you're free, seriously - you'll be supprised.

[Tom]

Feel free to talk to me as well.

[CC]

I'm not a psychologist but I'm always here to listen; Though I'm with Paint for seeking help. There's many ways to cope with these problems including behavioral therapy and such which have great out-turns for anxiety disorders such as agoraphobia.

I hope things look up for you <3

[Steven :D]

Feel free to talk to me as well.

Same thing here, most of us people are pretty open to others.

[Thanatos]

You're a cool person, Overpony. Although I barely speak to you now (Which is terrible) I found you fun to converse with. The best time on TS is when you finally said hello to me, and taking a screen shot of my character jumping with glee. I'm always on TS and SF, so if you want to chat I'm free, I have nothing better to do.

[Ket]

Being different is hard. I also was in such a situation like you.

Personally, don't give a SHIT what the people think about you. All that matters is what YOU think about yourself.

Screw what other people say, ignore them, they're not worth it. You a brony? Wear a T-Shirt in the school hallway, haters gonna hate, you don't give a shit.

You are not invaluable, you think that you are. Stop it cause you're wrong.

All you gotta do is live on your life, ignore fucktards and communicate with people who care about you.

We may not be your legit friends but we still care, you are part of our family <3

Now stop crying and be happy, HurbuGur  ;D

[Kelse]

You're far from alone, a lot is about to be said from me being a 9 day old member.

I constantly feel depressed, why? I lost my dad 11 years ago, my mom I never knew and I feel like no one gives a shit about me, I'm often alone, feel alone, and am alone. Sometimes I'm so alone the only thing there for me it feels...Is my loneliness and I feel like I'm not wanted, I often contemplate slitting my wrists and hanging myself to assure my death. I've been thrown in several homes in the past ~12 years and there's been so much that's happened to me, sexual and physical abuse, emotional abuse, failure in school, and having been recently diagnosed with arrhythmia and clinical depression I feel worthless to everything. Playing physical sports with friends? I sit inside and play on the computer. How many gmod servers do I play on? Well...one that I usually find that's fun, currently HGN FORP but that's a complete other thing, being a constant fuck up with everyone, everything, and all my ideas I often keep to myself but when I came to HGN and saw everyone doing all this stuff without getting in trouble I guess I started doing that stuff too and look where I end up, banned from the only server I play and apologizing to everyone while sitting there and crying because of such a fuck up I am, it might not sound like it but I'm often on the verge of crying for no apparent reason or no good reason, just...reasons...I pretty much cannot physically sleep on my own, every night I need to put myself to sleep by lucid dreaming because if I don't I have nightmares that make me wake up crying and screaming, I remember the same dream I have often so vividly I often wake up and cannot sleep for the next few days and lock myself away. Going to school makes me feel like a fuck up because all I do is fail all my classes, currently have all D's and luckily passing, I feel useless to everyone because I always fuck up and it's often so much that people hate me or never speak to me again, hate is my entire life for me and I'd much rather be gay and have a boyfriend then be straight and have a girlfriend because I was never interested in girls and people make me feel like shit for that. I didn't cry for 3 years and then when today came and I got banned and all the admins just made it seem like they don't give a shit made me feel like the most useless thing on that server and I cried because here I was thinking these guys and gals were my friends and liked me but in reality they disliked me and everyone sees things at another perspective of me, often ending me up with a big fat perma or some type of other thing that just makes me feel like shit. I CONSTANTLY have the feeling of being alone even when I'm not alone and even when I'm not alone. I usually cannot sleep at night ever and I often just sit up some nights and watch the moon sit in the sky but once I found HGN I really liked hanging out in the teamspeak and on the server with a bunch of people, until I got banned last night which resorted me to the same old, watching the moon in the sky as it rises out of my vision or above my house so I cannot see it, then I sit...alone...again and just watch the outside in hopes I could one day have a person that actually does care about what I have to see or sees from my perspective or isn't selfish and careless on my thoughts and feelings. I often spend days at a time in my house because of my consistant heart flutters that have no reason as to being there. Sometimes I wish while I have an IV in me that an air bubble would just form and block one of my veins, killing me because I feel worthless, I feel like if there is a real hell that I belong there, not up here when I die I want to go to hell because I'm a piece of shit, worthless, useless, and I often fail things, I have anxiety issues and failing is not in my book, seeing "DENIED" on anything of mine makes me hurt for days at a time and I just...hate it, being the quiet person I am at school I know exactly how it is to want to be alone, quiet, and just wish I was somewhere else. I hate doing school work because I just feel like shit, I'm going onto typing this for around 20 minutes so I'll just end it here with I'm useless, and you don't care about me so don't give me that shit where you say you do because that's bullshit and I know it. I honestly just fucking think people don't care about my opinion or thoughts and feelings so I'm going to stop voicing them around here because I often piss one person or another off.

Sorry HGN for being such a fuck up.

[INA7HAN]

Well, good to know you jumped over the rest of what I said...


But again, you seem like a kid to me. A kid that goes through the same shit any of Nerd kid would. I went through it. My friends went through it. My girl friend too.

Everyone now and days goes through it. It's called being a teenager. Everyone goes through these rough times. Some more harder than others. I got kicked out of my house when I was younger. Basically lived on my own for about 6 months.
Figuratively bitched slapped my parents when I passed High school with a nice GPA.


Also, if you can, join a theater class, either as a Actor, or Stage Tech. Constructing sets is fun. And if you're lucky, maybe you make friends.


Lastly, college. A new chance to start things over. A great place to meet up with people. Much more friendly atmosphere than High school. I don't know much about other colleges in other places, but all the ones I went to and visited seemed chill. And having a campus reputation was limited to a very select few.

Yeah, I know I can't really complain, I know theirs people worse off than me. A group for doing things sounds like it'd end up well, since everyone's wanting to do the same thing.

And I don't plan on college. Joining the police next november's been an ambition since I was seven, not sure if it was correctly placed, just because we had one of those visits where the Officer comes in and lets you try a hat on. But the embodiment of a uniform, being judged by what you wear, and finally for a better cause sounds awfully appealing to me.

I read through the whole thing. To me you are funny, humorous, and creative. Go talk to people. I am also very depressed. It happens randomly suicide is not the option. Go talk to people. And wanna know something? My life is fucked also. Ever since those people found out I was a brony I swear I also felt like shit.

But really enjoy lif as it lasts. If you kill yourself you go to hell. Enjoy life as it lasts. Don't kill yourself. It will only cause grief to others.

No homo but you are a great person. I mean it

It's almost awkward to hear that about me. I thought I was making such an arse of myself the last few weeks.

If you kill yourself you go to hell.

All I have to say is wow.

Time and a place, Ramna.

I'm planning on joining the police to what country are you from? And i get treated like shit by people. You'll find that theses people who are twats will have no jobs and will be sitting in some shitty appartment. Nothing wrong with being a nerd or smart. I'm pretty smart, got like 91% in my maths exam last year which was the highest in my year, i got some shit for that, but i didn't care because i want to succed in life. Just remember that there are alot of friendly people on HGn which makes it overall a great community, i've made friends with people from HGN and i'm sure you have, if people didn't like you no one would be posting all these comments to try and help you.

[Lent23]

Pony, we've known each other for a while and you know you could always throw me a message. It's not like I'm gonna ridicule you. I don't think anybody would. Everybody needs a little help sometimes. And just think, all of these people that say they'd love to help you talk your problems through, that means you fit in here. You're not useless just because you might be a little awkward in real life. Even in Mobius, you thought everybody would hate you, but a lot of people welcomed your return there, as well. All I'm saying is that if you're really afraid to go out into life, you don't have to. Everybody experiences life in the way that they enjoy, and you shouldn't let anybody force you into doing something that you don't want to do. If you don't want to go out, get a job that you can perform at home. Who cares about any bullshit that people do to you? You have a lot of friends here, and that has to count for something with you.

tldr; We love you.
(and talk to me sometimes ♥)

[jaik]

This thread is interesting.

[Bl★ck Star]

If you need someone to talk to hit me up on Steam.

Being different is hard. I also was in such a situation like you.

Personally, don't give a SHIT what the people think about you. All that matters is what YOU think about yourself.

Screw what other people say, ignore them, they're not worth it. You a brony? Wear a T-Shirt in the school hallway, haters gonna hate, you don't give a shit.

You are not invaluable, you think that you are. Stop it cause you're wrong.

All you gotta do is live on your life, ignore fucktards and communicate with people who care about you.

We may not be your legit friends but we still care, you are part of our family <3

Now stop crying and be happy, HurbuGur  ;D

I had the same problems as you overpony and that's what I mostly did, turns out I became alpha as fuck because of doing this and most of the people in my school like me now.

I also started smoking through some friends because we're doing weed and booze every weekend and I am now smoking in school too in the breaks and that's what also made myself some friends in my new class, because we're talking every break while smoking. (Not saying you should start smoking but it's like with the clubs, you do something what others do or like and you'll meet new friends)

[Dragon]

I think I shall just put this here to start with.

Overpony, you're degrading your value, man. You're strong enough to share with other people, and that's more than most people can say.
Let me start off by saying this. Your presence is always appreciated by everyone you know, I don't know you that much, but I, amongst probably all of us here in HGN, appreciate your presence, we're all a big family here. Despite the fact that they we might not perhaps show said appreciation. Suicide? If you commit suicide pal, then everyone you know, whether they like you or hate you, will mourn your passing. Despite what you think, there will always be a person out there who cares about you. Be it on the internet, or likewise.. the same can be said in real life. You always share something special with everyone you know. You went to high-school with some people, you are in a family with other.. they will all appreciate you for something, mate.
Nobody seems to show it until an event like suicide happens though, but it's certainly not the best way to go.

Let me address what you have said thus far.

I feel like I was born the wrong gender, that I'd get along in life better as a female, and I've even tried to recreate this at Infusion Gaming, and it didn't help that they reinforced this way of thinking as I made it to Sever Operator there, and I've had a really hard time being worth any value at other communities

Gender confusion. That's natural for almost anyone to question what they think they should be. Usually phases out by Adulthood. Don't let it weigh heavily on your mind.

When I finally have to go to school I can't talk to anyone. I stay silent and I stay at the back of any room I have to be in, and more people think it's creepy and hate me for it. No one talks to me or wants to, and combining this with the last problem, makes me think suicide is a far more valid option.

Hate is a strong word. They will never hate you for something as simple as that my friend.
But you and me both... I was always confined to silence and the hope that people would leave me alone in class, since one of my best friends had previously stabbed me in the back twice. I was way too anxious and paranoid to make any more. When people approached me, I always gave them the silent treatment to otherwise shoo them away.
However, it wasn't the right choice, and looking back, I can see that now. You have to begin to socialize with others, and have a voice of your own. When you find people who share your interests, then you can fit in with them.. and the steps after that? You have people who value your opinion, people who value YOU. It all boils down to you bringing a smile to their faces, so they can bring a smile to yours, eh? You don't have to adjust to fit into groups of friends, you just find those who share your thoughts already.

I even started watching my little pony for the basic lessons it could teach me about life. But that just made me a bigger mess when trying to implement those values into life and explain it to other people.

Yeah? That's a good idea, MLP redeems the value of life by making you appreciate it more with a fair few basis' that point you in the right direction to enjoying it more, but it ties into my previous point. You find people who share your views and ideals, and then share them amongst them. Let's say, for example.. I'm a Scalie. I wouldn't exactly talk to any friend about it because it would be a taboo subject. Granted, I was since one of my friends was a Furry, but enough of that. Say if you found someone who equally liked MLP in life.. you'd be able to share it to your hearts content and enjoy the lessons that it has taught you, since you can exchange thoughts and intermingle with others who like it as much as you do.

We'll always be here, We'll always care. There's always a person who appreciates you in the world. You need to look past the dark of the night and forward unto the sunrise. Make the right moves now, and you will have a great life in the future.






Kelse.. I don't know you as much as I might perhaps know anyone else. You may not have been here the longest out of most members, but you are still an appreciated person, by me and by other people.. eh? I can't sympathize with you, since I cannot relate to the majority of your situation, but you are one of the strongest people I have potentially met for coping.
I honestly cannot begin to comprehend what your situation must be like, but let it be known that there ARE people who care for you. From what you have said though.. You are no fuck-up, my friend. We're all here for you, but if you think you have nobody to turn to, I would recommend turning to a Psychiatrist. They are there to help, you know? Granted, I attend one already for my own personal reasons, and I can make a solid recommendation to see one. I am sure that your school will help find one if you talk to a counselling agent.

[ThY]

Overpony, Kelse, at the end of the day - no one here is a psychologist. We can't understand how you feel, nor guide you into feeling better. Although, I have eyes to see your troubles, ears to listen to anything you need to say, and a healthy heart which is home to a genuine concern about your welfare. Come chat to me, maybe on skype. A good heart to heart chat will ease a pressure from your chests. I know this will help, because, as many of us know here - I'm hardly a stable person. My emotions run wild 24/7 and get in the way of alot of things and I have also created such threads here to dump my feelings inside, this I can relate to.

But if you two don't want to chat at all, try listening to music to cheer you up a bit.

[Overwatch]

Pony, we've known each other for a while and you know you could always throw me a message. It's not like I'm gonna ridicule you. I don't think anybody would. Everybody needs a little help sometimes.
tldr; We love you.
(and talk to me sometimes ♥)

19:23 - |HGN| Harbinger: I mean, would it of been that hard to tag on (Write 2-3 Paragraphs, summarise)
19:23 - |HGN| Brλndon Lent [MGS]: dranei make the best hentai
19:23 - |HGN| Brλndon Lent [MGS]: imop
19:23 - |HGN| Harbinger: :|

[Paintcheck]

Overpony, Kelse, at the end of the day - no one here is a psychologist. We can't understand how you feel, nor guide you into feeling better.

That.

PLEASE talk to a pro. If you can talk to random strangers on the internet you can talk to a random stranger in person who has the added advantage of being educated in how to help you. I'm not at all saying "Don't talk to anyone else" but at the end of the day you will receive more benefit from a psychiatrist than from any of us.

[Alaizia]

overpony Q,Q you are exactly like me. I was born the wrong gender, I barely can talk to anyone and I like women...not dudes. I just want you to know man, your not alone. I wish I had been a girl since I was born, it would have been so much better that way.

I am afraid to talk to my parents, brothers and my friends becuase I know they would never accept me. I wish I could help you, but I can only tell you that I am in the same place you are