Well you are probably wondering what this long, stupid topic is about. Well, it is a story about a hermaphrodite named Ping Pong. The reason Pong turned out the way he did was because his father, Silver Knight, had sex with his sister, Blake. Blake also smoked ten packs a day and drank five barrels of radioactive waste called "Apple Martinis". On Pong's fourth birtday, SK busted into the room with a big, black dildo and beat him with it repeatedly. Every year, the dildo beatings increased in occurrence and ferocity. His mother was not innocent either, as Blake often brought home young boys the age of Pong and paid them as prostitutes with "candy"; a mix of nicotine, testosterone, paint thinner, marijuana residue, and PCP. On Pong's sixteenth birthday, he and his parents fled the country into the United States due to the police catching on to Blake's drug trails. The family brought along one of Blake's sex slaves, an eight year old named BTO.
While they were moving in, Pong escaped with BTO into the night. SK gave chase and fired his dildo-bow at them as they ran. Paintcheck, an average suburban, Caucasian eighteen-year-old saw SK chasing them one day through Virginia and brandished his sniper rifle. Perching on one of the towers at Virginia Univ., he fired a round at SK's arm. Wounded, SK retreated back to his castle and his mistress. Paintcheck brought them both in; Pong lived in Paint's closet and BTO in a cabinet. Pong and BTO bonded with Paintcheck until one day, SK came with his force of death-eaters. As Paintcheck came out to investigate, SK fired a dildo and seriously injured him. A deep voice thundered through the area as a tall, thirteen year old fell from the sky. The mysterious stranger shouted with his loud, basso voice, "I SUMMON THE FORCES OF THE UNFINISHED PROJECT OF THEE!" A massive crevasse split in the earth and ghosts of SK's several unfinished and neglected projects ejaculated from it. An enclave squad held SK down as he screamed. A massive templar with a bastard sword thrusted his blade into SK's torso, ripping his intestines from his body. The ghosts retreated back into the crevasse and it swiftly sealed.
I think I just shit myself.
Thread music:
http://www.youtube.com/v/7gcqYgpN39U&autoplay=1
You forgot to add me in Betch!
i pooed a little. FUCKING STICKY THIS SHIT.
EPISODE II
The mysterious man pulled his hood down to reveal a Caucasian(of course), teenage male. The man introduced himself as Cutch. A furry, Black Star, screeched through the sky and the man simply raised his hand and shouted, "BEGONE!" The furry exploded. Picking Paintcheck up, he spreaded the wings for his jetpack. Ping Pong and BTO grabbed a hold of the jetpack in amazement as they blasted off into the stars. A ball of oxygen surrounded them as they went into outer space and to Cutch's moon base. Tom, another caucasian male(Yes, I know there aren't any black people, shut the fuck up) was waiting for them. "I see you made it back from the HGN plane of existence safely," he said excitedly, "The prostitutes are all ready for you guys."
Just then, a death star appeared in the outer orbit above them. Killabreu, a racist southerner, ran from the base. "Holy niggerjew, Cutch! Silver is going to ddos us!" The death star began readying its packets to be sent to the planet. Just then, Plunger came out of nowhere with his flagship, the STFU Genitalia, screaming "WHAT IS THIS, I DON'T EVEN...". Looking at the deathstar, Plunger said calmly in his nasally voice, "No Flaming." The flagship, shaped like a penis, broadsided the death star. The Genitalia fired its bright, white, thick lasers and caused the death star to have such a massive orgasm, it imploded.
To be continued...
That was... Deep.
I think im gonna go cry now.
This is truly majestic. Tears are, as we speak, ejaculating from my eyes. This is a work of art rivaling, nay, SURPASSING all of Shakespeare's works combined into some sort of super Shakespeare robot. God looked upon this and realized that his flock had finally lived up to his lofty goals. Cutch, you have struck the hearts of many this day, to an extent that perhaps even you do not know. Thank god for you.
You aren't the only one ejaculating, Nargotah.
Quote from: Cutch on 26-11-2010
EPISODE II
A furry, Black Star, screeched through the sky and the man simply raised his hand and shouted, "BEGONE!" The furry exploded.
I Lol'd
Also keep up the good work, awesome story lol.
EPISODE 2 (CONTINUED
Plunger landed his flagship and exited to greet the remnants of the Galactic Rebellion. His eyes fell on Ping Pong and instantly fell in love with him. Plunger shook hands with Cutch and informed him it was his mission to bring the chosen one, Ping Pong, back to the Rebel High Command in the Zone system. They were lead upon the Genitalia and introduced to the ships crew. This included the ship's cook; a black man named Locke. Locke shook hands with them as he would a close friend; completely relaxed. BTO quickly befriended the black chef and often cooked dinner with him. In addition to this friendship, he amassed a liking to fried chicken and watermelon. They slowly pushed through the cold, empty space into the vibrant Zone System. Zone VI, the greatest of the eight planets, is the location of the Rebellious Space Trade Federate Union(STFU) High Command. BTO and Pong peeked out the windows in amazement at the sight of the huge cityscape and bright lights. The Genitalia eased into port and the docking channel connected with the pier that prodded at an odd angle from the rest of the city. Cutch took point as they exited the ship. A stocky man wearing a military uniform greeted them along with his detail of soldiers. He introduced himself as, "General Sharrock, at your service." Despite the corny introduction, Pong was stunned by the man's sharp appearance. Breaking Pong's entrancement, Cutch began speaking in his deep monotone, "Sharrock, we have the One. His power is great, however it is hidden beneath layers. We must circumcise him immediately if we are to proceed as planned." Sharrock nodded and gestured for his detail to bring the group along.
[ I will continue this later once I rest...]
"Killabreu, a racist southerner" i loled
I would buy this, if it was a Book !
Quote from: knife_cz on 27-11-2010
"Killabreu, a racist southerner" i loled
(https://forums.hypergamer.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4gifs.com%2Fgallery%2Fd%2F159306-2%2FChameleon_hatersgonnahate.gif&hash=bdbee055314e86244957db2d885c39b5a626f98f)
Best (Insert word that would make sense here) ever.
I want more.
The Tale of Ping Pong and rook in duty base: Gather round kids.
D:<
Quote from: Turkey on 29-11-2010
The Tale of Ping Pong and rook in duty base: Gather round kids.
D:<
I hope it won't be better than Ecologist bunker cyber.
Part 3 fucking when?
(https://forums.hypergamer.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lotustalk.com%2Fforums%2Fattachments%2Ff170%2F133143d1252671957-evora-racecar-house-do-want_thumbnail.jpg&hash=1e9bd1375f863bcd3af40760d494a501ead7355d)
(https://forums.hypergamer.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg257.imageshack.us%2Fimg257%2F8126%2F72250287.png&hash=3db0265808d67d48d34605198fd67f01335bea1c)
Quote from: Khorn on 02-12-2010
(https://forums.hypergamer.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg257.imageshack.us%2Fimg257%2F8126%2F72250287.png&hash=3db0265808d67d48d34605198fd67f01335bea1c)
LOL
(https://forums.hypergamer.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.threadbombing.com%2Fdata%2Fmedia%2F68%2Fcool_story_bro_2.jpg&hash=7b90ef9449721198cf0ff3d8a3f0adcda827eadc)
k
I demand I be placed in this outrageous story... Plox.
Six months from the beginning of their adventure, the STFU was on its conquest to destroy HGN. The Genitalia acted as the flagship with Plunger commanding the entire navy. As they began entering HGN territory, mingefrigates were drawn to their location. They were easily swept aside by ban hammers and they went deeper into the dark and gloomy system. They were almost at the capital when a massive fleet of troll cruisers came out of hyperspace. The enemy fleet seemed to chew threw their space destroyers.
Plunger spoke into the fleet network, "Heavy ships, charge the CT cannons." Red, firey streams of energy seem to gather around the protrusions of the ships until it was blinding. "Fire!" Plunger ordered, and the red roared from the cannons. The red stopped infront of the enemy fleet and a tear in space began to form and it sucked the enemy fleet in.
They began to orbit around the capital, Britannica. The STFU rained orbital bombardment on the planet as they dropped soldiers to the surface. Tom, Cutch, and the rest of the team landed safely near the capital. They battled through the HGN forces, primarily Helghast and mingebags. They made their way to front of the royal palace, Fuckingham Palace. The ground shook and the doors split open to reveal a tall Scotsman, Silverknight's Field Marshal and Commissar, Nitro Glycerine. Nitro unsheathed his claymore and swung it, lopping off BTOs head. Cutch shouted, "I command thee a broken heart!" Nitro grabbed his chest and a giant crater began to form as the street fell in. As Nitro fell into the hole, he grabbed Cutch by the ankle. Ping Pong, Tom, and Killabreu looked back as Cutch held onto the edge, "Run you fools..." he said as he fell into the abyss. Tom screamed his name as Pong and Killabreu dragged him onward.
They found SK yelling at Blake in their room, "BITCH! MAKE THE FORUMS GOD DAMN PRETTIER! I DIDN'T GIVE YOU GLOBAL MODERATOR TO MAKE IT LOOK PRETTIER!" Blake yelled back at him, "HEY! I RESKINNED THOSE MODELS AND MADE THEM DIRTY!" SK responded, "ORANGE DOESN'T MEAN FUCKING DIRTY!" He bitch slapped her and turned towards the heroic party. "What are you mudderfuckers doing here?" All of a sudden a little girl was tugging on SK's dress. He slapped her and then a massive Big Daddy broke through the wall and drilled through Silverknight with his drill, spewing him everywhere. Blake jumped out of a window after realizing she didn't have any power whatsoever without someone to brown nose.
holy shit best fanfic of 2011
That made me lol a lot :D
moar pl0x
As soon as the music started, I ripped up the thread looking for that FUCKING YOUTUBE VIDEO.
Quote from: Rhyom Guther on 22-02-2011
As soon as the music started, I ripped up the thread looking for that FUCKING YOUTUBE VIDEO.
Fuck off ugly faggot.
Quote from: Turkey on 22-02-2011
Quote from: Rhyom Guther on 22-02-2011
As soon as the music started, I ripped up the thread looking for that FUCKING YOUTUBE VIDEO.
Fuck off ugly faggot.
Irony.
Quote from: lolKieck on 24-02-2011
Quote from: Turkey on 22-02-2011
Quote from: Rhyom Guther on 22-02-2011
As soon as the music started, I ripped up the thread looking for that FUCKING YOUTUBE VIDEO.
Fuck off ugly faggot.
Irony.
Explain the irony in that, Moron?
Quote from: Turkey on 24-02-2011
Quote from: lolKieck on 24-02-2011
Quote from: Turkey on 22-02-2011
Quote from: Rhyom Guther on 22-02-2011
As soon as the music started, I ripped up the thread looking for that FUCKING YOUTUBE VIDEO.
Fuck off ugly faggot.
Irony.
Explain the irony in that, Moron?
That's more ironic than the post before.
Quote from: lolKieck on 24-02-2011
Quote from: Turkey on 24-02-2011
Quote from: lolKieck on 24-02-2011
Quote from: Turkey on 22-02-2011
Quote from: Rhyom Guther on 22-02-2011
As soon as the music started, I ripped up the thread looking for that FUCKING YOUTUBE VIDEO.
Fuck off ugly faggot.
Irony.
Explain the irony in that, Moron?
That's more ironic than the post before.
You don't know what Irony is, Go google it moron.
Quote from: Turkey on 24-02-2011
Quote from: lolKieck on 24-02-2011
Quote from: Turkey on 24-02-2011
Quote from: lolKieck on 24-02-2011
Quote from: Turkey on 22-02-2011
Quote from: Rhyom Guther on 22-02-2011
As soon as the music started, I ripped up the thread looking for that FUCKING YOUTUBE VIDEO.
Fuck off ugly faggot.
Irony.
Explain the irony in that, Moron?
That's more ironic than the post before.
You don't know what Irony is, Go google it moron.
Lol. And vice versa Turkey. There are many types of irony.
Quote from: lolKieck on 25-02-2011
Quote from: Turkey on 24-02-2011
Quote from: lolKieck on 24-02-2011
Quote from: Turkey on 24-02-2011
Quote from: lolKieck on 24-02-2011
Quote from: Turkey on 22-02-2011
Quote from: Rhyom Guther on 22-02-2011
As soon as the music started, I ripped up the thread looking for that FUCKING YOUTUBE VIDEO.
Fuck off ugly faggot.
Irony.
Explain the irony in that, Moron?
That's more ironic than the post before.
You don't know what Irony is, Go google it moron.
Lol. And vice versa Turkey. There are many types of irony.
LOL! You're a retarded polish fuck. America is so much better then your country, I know thats a fact now.
Oi!heck no.
Quote from: Turkey on 25-02-2011
Quote from: lolKieck on 25-02-2011
Quote from: Turkey on 24-02-2011
Quote from: lolKieck on 24-02-2011
Quote from: Turkey on 24-02-2011
Quote from: lolKieck on 24-02-2011
Quote from: Turkey on 22-02-2011
Quote from: Rhyom Guther on 22-02-2011
As soon as the music started, I ripped up the thread looking for that FUCKING YOUTUBE VIDEO.
Fuck off ugly faggot.
Irony.
Explain the irony in that, Moron?
That's more ironic than the post before.
You don't know what Irony is, Go google it moron.
Lol. And vice versa Turkey. There are many types of irony.
LOL! You're a retarded polish fuck. America is so much better then your country, I know thats a fact now.
At least in Poland we don't kill our own daughters.
Dun feed teh trolz
Quote from: knife_cz on 26-02-2011
Dun feed teh trolz
Don't worry, it's another killdead.
Oh alright then,continue :P
Okay, after reading Hessen's shitty attempt to make fun of Last Exile, I decided to continue my book from another short story. This one will be more up-to-date with people currently in the community so not just oldfags will get it, so my nonexistent sales will go up. Yeah, uh, if you want to donate so I'll write more stories after this one, just PM me so I can give you my paypal info. It helps. <3
The New Tales of the Oldfag Crew
So, this tale begins with Cutch, Killabreu, Tom, and Ping Pong riding with Sharrock in his '83 Cadillac Coupe Deville, driving through North Carolina. They spotted an old friend, Paintcheck, riding his bike. While they were shouting greetings to each other, a black man jumps from the shadows and cums in Paintcheck's face. Due to women being the only ones immune to the acid contents of black sperm, Paintcheck fell over screaming as it burned his face. The black man hopped on the bike and started off. Paintcheck screamed, "NIGGA STOLE MY BIKE!" Cutch and Killabreu grabbed a pair of Colt 1911's from under the seat as Sharrock put a police light on top of the car, "Thank god I stole this from my parole officer." They started driving and shooting the black man until finally, a bullet hit the black man in the shoulder and he fell off the bike. They exited the car, Tom handcuffing the black man.
"What is your name?" Tom asked quickly.
The black man simply responded with, "I am... knife_cz...."
"Well knife, its time for you to be permabanned... from life..." Cutch and Killabreu stepped forward and pointed their barrels at the back of the man's head.
"NO, I CAN BREAK THESE CUFFS"
*BAM
Some witnesses claimed that you could see text about the men saying "Knife_cz has been permanently banned from the server" These witnesses wonder what god forsaken server he will be going to now.
To be continued...
Cutch, I want to be in the new story, NOW !
I'm sure knife will be unbanned.
I'm more oldfag than any of the motherfuckers in the story
Quote from: PistolKid on 01-05-2011
I'm more oldfag than any of the motherfuckers in the story
BlackStar is still 11 days older.
So I get a more vital position then Pistolkid.
Quote from: PistolKid on 01-05-2011
I'm more oldfag than any of the motherfuckers in the story
Yeah but you and Black Star are never around in teamspeak, bitch. Sharrock and Knife definitely aren't oldfags but they were both banned recently so I thought they'd be worth mentioning.
also, remember that donations are very good.
Quote from: Cutch on 01-05-2011
Quote from: PistolKid on 01-05-2011
I'm more oldfag than any of the motherfuckers in the story
Yeah but you and Black Star are never around in teamspeak, bitch. Sharrock and Knife definitely aren't oldfags but they were both banned recently so I thought they'd be worth mentioning.
also, remember that donations are very good.
I would Donate if I would have paypal or whatever Last.Exile uses for Donations, Also I am in another teamspeak with some IRL friends all the time.
Quote from: Cutch on 01-05-2011
Quote from: PistolKid on 01-05-2011
I'm more oldfag than any of the motherfuckers in the story
Yeah but you and Black Star are never around in teamspeak, bitch. Sharrock and Knife definitely aren't oldfags but they were both banned recently so I thought they'd be worth mentioning.
also, remember that donations are very good.
i used to be in VENTRILO, motherfucker. and teamspeak. but that was like a year ago
Quote from: Cutch on 01-05-2011
Quote from: PistolKid on 01-05-2011
I'm more oldfag than any of the motherfuckers in the story
Yeah but you and Black Star are never around in teamspeak, bitch. Sharrock and Knife definitely aren't oldfags but they were both banned recently so I thought they'd be worth mentioning.
also, remember that donations are very good.
Recently?
Also lold.
Quote from: PistolKid on 01-05-2011
Quote from: Cutch on 01-05-2011
Quote from: PistolKid on 01-05-2011
I'm more oldfag than any of the motherfuckers in the story
Yeah but you and Black Star are never around in teamspeak, bitch. Sharrock and Knife definitely aren't oldfags but they were both banned recently so I thought they'd be worth mentioning.
also, remember that donations are very good.
i used to be in VENTRILO, motherfucker. and teamspeak. but that was like a year ago
Then it doesn't count.
Faggots I be bumping my work of art. So all the newfags can bask in its eternal glory.
I have broken these cuffs.
Quote from: knife_cz on 04-08-2011
I have broken these cuffs.
No, you got the key from Exile.
tl;dr, should I spend my time reading it?
Quote from: lolKieck on 04-08-2011
Quote from: knife_cz on 04-08-2011
I have broken these cuffs.
No, you got the key from Exile.
True..true.