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The Tale of Ping Pong's Mangina

Cutch · 4756

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Offline Cutch

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Well you are probably wondering what this long, stupid topic is about. Well, it is a story about a hermaphrodite named Ping Pong. The reason Pong turned out the way he did was because his father, Silver Knight, had sex with his sister, Blake. Blake also smoked ten packs a day and drank five barrels of radioactive waste called "Apple Martinis". On Pong's fourth birtday, SK busted into the room with a big, black dildo and beat him with it repeatedly. Every year, the dildo beatings increased in occurrence and ferocity. His mother was not innocent either, as Blake often brought home young boys the age of Pong and paid them as prostitutes with "candy"; a mix of nicotine, testosterone, paint thinner, marijuana residue, and PCP. On Pong's sixteenth birthday, he and his parents fled the country into the United States due to the police catching on to Blake's drug trails. The family brought along one of Blake's sex slaves, an eight year old named BTO.

While they were moving in, Pong escaped with BTO into the night. SK gave chase and fired his dildo-bow at them as they ran. Paintcheck, an average suburban, Caucasian eighteen-year-old saw SK chasing them one day through Virginia and brandished his sniper rifle. Perching on one of the towers at Virginia Univ., he fired a round at SK's arm. Wounded, SK retreated back to his castle and his mistress. Paintcheck brought them both in; Pong lived in Paint's closet and BTO in a cabinet. Pong and BTO bonded with Paintcheck until one day, SK came with his force of death-eaters. As Paintcheck came out to investigate, SK fired a dildo and seriously injured him. A deep voice thundered through the area as a tall, thirteen year old fell from the sky. The mysterious stranger shouted with his loud, basso voice, "I SUMMON THE FORCES OF THE UNFINISHED PROJECT OF THEE!" A massive crevasse split in the earth and ghosts of SK's several unfinished and neglected projects ejaculated from it. An enclave squad held SK down as he screamed. A massive templar with a bastard sword thrusted his blade into SK's torso, ripping his intestines from his body. The ghosts retreated back into the crevasse and it swiftly sealed.
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"Stop living life so that you can do a job with out pay"
-Blake/Last Exile


Offline Ping-Pong

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Reply #1 on: 26-11-2010
I think I just shit myself.
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SRP Characters-
Andrick Nesterov - Outsider (No Trace, assumed dead)
Typhoon - Loner (No Trace, assumed dead)
Tolga Ostrovsky - Loner (With his brother)
Marko Drubich - Ecologist Elite (Whereabouts Unknown)


Offline Silver Knight

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Reply #2 on: 26-11-2010
Thread music:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/7gcqYgpN39U&amp;autoplay=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/7gcqYgpN39U&amp;autoplay=1</a>

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Quote
breslau: if i cant cheat i dont wanna play
breslau: period


Offline Tom

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Reply #3 on: 26-11-2010
You forgot to add me in Betch!
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"I'm a faggot, Tom."

Oh boy.
Strap yourselves in, it's time for the great 'obligatory' SRP resurrection of 2013/14/15/16


Offline Killabreu

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Reply #4 on: 26-11-2010
i pooed a little. FUCKING STICKY THIS SHIT.
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SRP Characters:
Callsign "Faust" - Loner.
Callsign "Eastwood" - American trader.
Roger McMillan - Ex-RIRA. Ex-DUTY. Mercenary.


Offline Cutch

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Reply #5 on: 26-11-2010
EPISODE II
The mysterious man pulled his hood down to reveal a Caucasian(of course), teenage male. The man introduced himself as Cutch. A furry, Black Star, screeched through the sky and the man simply raised his hand and shouted, "BEGONE!" The furry exploded. Picking Paintcheck up, he spreaded the wings for his jetpack. Ping Pong and BTO grabbed a hold of the jetpack in amazement as they blasted off into the stars. A ball of oxygen surrounded them as they went into outer space and to Cutch's moon base. Tom, another caucasian male(Yes, I know there aren't any black people, shut the fuck up) was waiting for them. "I see you made it back from the HGN plane of existence safely," he said excitedly, "The prostitutes are all ready for you guys."

Just then, a death star appeared in the outer orbit above them. Killabreu, a racist southerner, ran from the base. "Holy niggerjew, Cutch! Silver is going to ddos us!" The death star began readying its packets to be sent to the planet. Just then, Plunger came out of nowhere with his flagship, the STFU Genitalia, screaming "WHAT IS THIS, I DON'T EVEN...". Looking at the deathstar, Plunger said calmly in his nasally voice, "No Flaming." The flagship, shaped like a penis, broadsided the death star. The Genitalia fired its bright, white, thick lasers and caused the death star to have such a massive orgasm, it imploded.

To be continued...
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"Stop living life so that you can do a job with out pay"
-Blake/Last Exile


Offline N3gativezero

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Reply #6 on: 26-11-2010
That was... Deep.


I think im gonna go cry now.
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To loot, lulz and SCIENCE!


Offline Nargotah

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Reply #7 on: 26-11-2010
This is truly majestic. Tears are, as we speak, ejaculating from my eyes. This is a work of art rivaling, nay, SURPASSING all of Shakespeare's works combined into some sort of super Shakespeare robot. God looked upon this and realized that his flock had finally lived up to his lofty goals. Cutch, you have struck the hearts of many this day, to an extent that perhaps even you do not know. Thank god for you.
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Offline Ping-Pong

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Reply #8 on: 26-11-2010
You aren't the only one ejaculating, Nargotah.
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SRP Characters-
Andrick Nesterov - Outsider (No Trace, assumed dead)
Typhoon - Loner (No Trace, assumed dead)
Tolga Ostrovsky - Loner (With his brother)
Marko Drubich - Ecologist Elite (Whereabouts Unknown)


Offline Bl★ck Star

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Reply #9 on: 26-11-2010
EPISODE II
A furry, Black Star, screeched through the sky and the man simply raised his hand and shouted, "BEGONE!" The furry exploded.

I Lol'd

Also keep up the good work, awesome story lol.
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Offline Cutch

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Reply #10 on: 27-11-2010
EPISODE 2 (CONTINUED
Plunger landed his flagship and exited to greet the remnants of the Galactic Rebellion. His eyes fell on Ping Pong and instantly fell in love with him. Plunger shook hands with Cutch and informed him it was his mission to bring the chosen one, Ping Pong, back to the Rebel High Command in the Zone system. They were lead upon the Genitalia and introduced to the ships crew. This included the ship's cook; a black man named Locke. Locke shook hands with them as he would a close friend; completely relaxed. BTO quickly befriended the black chef and often cooked dinner with him. In addition to this friendship, he amassed a liking to fried chicken and watermelon. They slowly pushed through the cold, empty space into the vibrant Zone System. Zone VI, the greatest of the eight planets, is the location of the Rebellious Space Trade Federate Union(STFU) High Command. BTO and Pong peeked out the windows in amazement at the sight of the huge cityscape and bright lights. The Genitalia eased into port and the docking channel connected with the pier that prodded at an odd angle from the rest of the city. Cutch took point as they exited the ship. A stocky man wearing a military uniform greeted them along with his detail of soldiers. He introduced himself as, "General Sharrock, at your service." Despite the corny introduction, Pong was stunned by the man's sharp appearance. Breaking Pong's entrancement, Cutch began speaking in his deep monotone, "Sharrock, we have the One. His power is great, however it is hidden beneath layers. We must circumcise him immediately if we are to proceed as planned." Sharrock nodded and gestured for his detail to bring the group along.

[ I will continue this later once I rest...]
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"Stop living life so that you can do a job with out pay"
-Blake/Last Exile


Offline Knife_cz

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Reply #11 on: 27-11-2010
"Killabreu, a racist southerner" i loled
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Offline Bl★ck Star

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Reply #12 on: 27-11-2010
I would buy this, if it was a Book !
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Offline Killabreu

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Reply #13 on: 27-11-2010
"Killabreu, a racist southerner" i loled

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SRP Characters:
Callsign "Faust" - Loner.
Callsign "Eastwood" - American trader.
Roger McMillan - Ex-RIRA. Ex-DUTY. Mercenary.


Offline Silence)

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Reply #14 on: 27-11-2010
Best (Insert word that would make sense here) ever.
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Offline Ping-Pong

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Reply #15 on: 29-11-2010
I want more.
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SRP Characters-
Andrick Nesterov - Outsider (No Trace, assumed dead)
Typhoon - Loner (No Trace, assumed dead)
Tolga Ostrovsky - Loner (With his brother)
Marko Drubich - Ecologist Elite (Whereabouts Unknown)


Offline Turkey

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Reply #16 on: 29-11-2010
The Tale of Ping Pong and rook in duty base: Gather round kids.

D:<
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Offline lolKieck

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Reply #17 on: 30-11-2010
The Tale of Ping Pong and rook in duty base: Gather round kids.

D:<

I hope it won't be better than Ecologist bunker cyber.
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Offline Killabreu

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Reply #18 on: 30-11-2010
Part 3 fucking when?
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SRP Characters:
Callsign "Faust" - Loner.
Callsign "Eastwood" - American trader.
Roger McMillan - Ex-RIRA. Ex-DUTY. Mercenary.


Offline Bl★ck Star

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Reply #19 on: 01-12-2010
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Offline Khorn

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Reply #20 on: 02-12-2010
« Last Edit: 02-12-2010 by Khorn »
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Offline Ping-Pong

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Reply #21 on: 04-12-2010
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SRP Characters-
Andrick Nesterov - Outsider (No Trace, assumed dead)
Typhoon - Loner (No Trace, assumed dead)
Tolga Ostrovsky - Loner (With his brother)
Marko Drubich - Ecologist Elite (Whereabouts Unknown)


Offline Tom

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Reply #22 on: 30-12-2010
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"I'm a faggot, Tom."

Oh boy.
Strap yourselves in, it's time for the great 'obligatory' SRP resurrection of 2013/14/15/16


Offline Turkey

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Reply #23 on: 30-12-2010
k
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Offline Bucky

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Reply #24 on: 30-12-2010
I demand I be placed in this outrageous story... Plox.
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