I gave a homeless guy 80 bucks, my life been saved by seagulls and my penis work

[Silver Knight]

Okay before I start with my story with the hobo, I'm pretty sure you guys know the story about my penis and how I gotten erectile dysfunction about 5 or so minutes before I was about to lose my virginity, If not please refer to this thread just so this story can make a bit more sens to you guys.: http://www.facepunch.com/threads/107...uch?highlight=


Okay on with my story now, You see I was a fairly average Joe...kinda but ever since my experience in that, the worst day of my life, My life have been horrible! I have lost all my homilies and friends, they all just drifted apart. This all happened a week ago mind you. I was for some strange reason been targeted in my school. Now I'm not used to getting bullied but these guys were one of those bitch ass gang banging posers you see on the news killing innocent people, well at least that's their type. So about 3 of those punk ass niggas were targeting me and beating the fuck out of me any time they see me in the bathroom or empty hallway(Look, I can't go to any teachers or police in my ghetto ass school...that'll just make it worst).

My life gotten fucked up the whole past month with loads of shitty random bad luck(I lost 600 bucks due to those PSN hackers, some dick ass kid broke the window of my apartment and I am forced to pay for it since they couldn't find the little runt, gotten in two car accidents one of those were minor and the other wreaked my car and had to go to court and pay some damages to the other guy car even though he was the fool speeding, and a bunch more). You see I owe those punks money because I've decided to be a dumbass and snitch about their bullying, they want 80 bucks or else 80 or their Poser Mexican MS13 homes jump my ass.

Now all that happened during these whole month, now THIS happened last week. I've decided to just give up and stop trying so I gather the rest of my cash and go to the meeting spot at the docks. So while I was walking down he docks I've seen this homeless mother fucker I kinda know who is a huge dick to everyone, I heard he gotten homeless when he got divorced and his whore wife gotten all his cash and his house plus the kids. Feeling bad for him is impossible since he is basically one of the ideal assholes in the definition of asshole motherfuckertry. But for some reason I've decided I don't give a shit about my life anymore and getting my ass beat the shit out of me by a bunch of chims.

I threw the cash on the bastard lap and then he made some weird grunting noise and just shoved it in his pocket and mummer in a sarcastic tone "thanks". And from the corner of my eye I saw the four bitches walking down my way so I decided to confront them since they already saw me. as I walked towards him the hobo went inside the liquor store behind him(Typical). So the baldy buff nigga said "you got my money faggot?" So I took a deep breath and said he can go fuck his inbred mother, suddenly they were around me with the buff nigga suddenly screaming "LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU, BEHIND YOU!" I turn my head slightly and he punch the fuck out of my face making me fall on my back then the guy behind me took a kick to my stomach while I was getting up but was still on the ground.

The other two backed up while laughing their nabby head asses off. the guy who kicked me did the same and the buff nigga did some hoppying stance dance shit you see when a fast boxer just got scared. So these guy where a yard or two away and the buff nigga was like "fuckin tired of this bitch, gimmie that thing" so one of them threw something to the buff nigga which he catch, turns out it was a switchblade and that moment I knew I was gonna get REAL fucked up. I look to see if anyone was around and the only guy who was there was the homeless guy drinking some beer back at his spot. He gave me a wink and turned away, no point in calling for his help I guess.

The buff nigga took one step closer from his friends and suddenly, out of fucking nowhere, seagulls! About 20 or more just swept in and peaked on those fools and just swarmed on them. They starting screaming and they ran since they wouldn't leave them alone. I got up and brushes off my clothes and went home. Now ever since that incident my life has been the greatest then it ever been!

I just gotten a random extreme boost of self confidence and now at my school, I'm the fucking boss. I've found a new kickass job that pays me double then the last one, I've got all the bait. and a shitton of good luck keeps happening that overshadow the hell month I had. But suddenly I remember that if my life gotten fucked up ever since I lost my ability to get a boner. So I just watches hours of almost any and all porn I can find on the Internet hoping my dick will get hard but no success.

I sadly lay down on my bed in failure but suddenly my dick jump a little to my outstanding surprise I closed my eyes and forced the great and biggest boner of my life, I swear my dick grew 2 inches bigger since last month to a whooping 8 inches! I notice it was a bit wider too, I looked at it and then before I knew it I was fapping. :fap:

I then orgasm and spewed half a fucking cup of cum on my bed, it was a pain to clean up but it was beautiful. I can now fuck my friend with benefits and all my bait. This is a fucking miracle! So I ranged her up and she let me in her house and god damn, god fucking damn I couldn't believe I was actually fucking her and she was mourning her head off.

Shit was amazing. So I've just came here and posted this thread just to ask you, do you believe in coincidence or miracles? Do you believe life can be god awful then turn into paradise?

I'm just wondering but facepunch can you tell me what the fuck happened these past month?

P.S: I've never seen that Homeless guy again, he looked middle eastern and had long ass hair and a beard but not that long.

[Bl★ck Star]

that link doesnt wpork

[Visari]

that link doesnt wpork

404...FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[mikeywrenn]

wats an erectin?!

[Bl★ck Star]

wats an erectin?!

ERECTIN A DISPENSER !

[Steven :D]

that link doesnt wpork

404...FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1075620-I-fucking-hate-my-penis-so-much?highlight= Correct link, exile learn 2 facepunch.

[SGT-Spartans]

Damn, I thought some peoples lives were bad.

Atleast everything is going well now.