HyperGaming Network

((Alright it's been ages since I came to the IC forum. Haven't had any epic events to write about but saw a couple of other people's PDAs and journals in here and liked them so figured I'd start one. Will update this as much as possible, I mean I have a lot of free time at school... Everything written here will have happened in the server, this is all IC. Comments are welcomed and encouraged.))


So Tom finally taught me how to work this thing, I feel kind of stupid for not being able to figure it out on my own but back home the most advanced technological marvel we had was a TV so...

Hands finally healed up, no scars. Figured since no one needs anything fixed I would keep track of what's happened to me so far. Been in the Zone for about a week now. First few days I wandered around aimlessly and promptly ran out of food. Luckily no one ate me, enslaved me, or killed me. Heard rumors of a group of "anarchists" who were apparently friendly towards what the locals here call S.T.A.L.K.E.Rs. A few helpful people pointed my way to their base. I stumbled in, terrified of what I would find since it seems out of every 4 people 3 want to kill you. These guys don't. They fed me and gave me some new clothing since my village clothes were worse for wear. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to repay their kindness but they quickly discovered that I was something of a mechanic back home. I never thought I was any good at it but three of them brought their rifles to me the first day and ever since I have had plenty of work to do. I guess maybe Mom was wrong. Maybe I'm not useless...

Military attacked us on the second day of my stay, not really sure why. It was terrible, they brought in a helicopter and rained bullets on us. I hid in a corner of the base, scared to death. Lots of people were killed on both sides and the smell and the sight of the blood made me sick. I hid in that corner for nearly 8 hours.

Tyr set up a workplace for me under the tower on the perimeter. Not a lot of tools and parts here but I can make do. Started to try engraving. My rifle now has a snarling Wolf on it. I didn't think it looked that good but Tommy happened to walk by as I was finishing and practically begged for me to do his rifle. I agreed. Why anyone would want my crappy art on their guns is beyond me but I gave him a good design: A Wolf with his mouth open where the barrel comes out, the body takes up most of his receiver and the tail ends at the end of the stock. Tommy seemed happy when I finished it after a few hours. Decided to begin gathering parts for a side project.

[Picture of Nikki's rather plain engraved rifle next to her work on Tom's Sig 550]

Went to junkyard, lots of good salvage there. As I was collecting parts a soldier shot at me. I don't think I have ever experienced pain like that before. I crawled under a backhoe and hid, trying not to cry. The soldier got bored and left. Luckily is was night so he couldn't see me. A mercenary dragged me out and back to Freedom base where he patched me up. Slept for a day.

Luckily I still had the parts I came for from the junkyard. Started to put them together. Was attempting to make an upper receiver for an LR300 that could take 7.62X39mm ammo. Managed to get the pieces in properly but the first shot blew the rifle apart. I'm lucky I still have both my hands. Stacy and Tom fixed me up. I don't remember much of what happened at that time, only that Tom was with me looking concerned. He's helped me so much, I feel bad for making him worry. The other Freedomers think I'm incompetent for the failure of that project. I don't blame them but I know what happened. I can make it work. I was just stupid the first time.

Don't even remember what day it was yesterday. Moped most of the day because my wrecked hands prevent me from doing anything useful. I hate being a drain on Freedom, they already have done so much for me in a week. Tried to draw up some plans for my next idea, could barely hold a pen through my bandages. Tommy stopped by. First he tells me that he and some of the Freedomers had salvaged a whole bunch of stuff from the junkyard for me to play with once my hands healed. They got an engine, an axle, some brakes, a proper welder, some more tools that I didn't have, and some more broken rifles. I'm excited to start working again! I can't believe they did that for me! He also taught me how to use one of these PDA things and made me feel better. Put some programs on my PDA as well that I guess aren't standard issue. I don't know how to use any of them but Tommy promised he'd teach me. He's so nice, always trying to talk to me and make me feel better. He seemed sad when I first met him, I found out he had been cutting himself. I guess I make him happy since he said he would stop the second I told him to. As far as I can tell he hasn't cut himself again. I kissed him just before going to bed. He kissed me back. I think he liked it. I know I did...

Started a few new projects, designed and built a magazine speed loader than can handle 6 LR300 magazines at once. You just slide the magazines into the slots and slide 5.56 mm stripper clips above them. Push down and you're done. Took only about an hour to build, built mostly using magwells from broken LRs and some pipe lying around.

The second project is considerably more fun, seems some Freedomers salvaged an ancient 6 cylinder engine. Spent several hours clearing the gunk out of it and polishing the cylinders. Need to find a transmission to hook it up to but I think it might run. Got my uniform dirty while working on it so I took it off so my tank top would take the abuse. Tom and Andrick seemed to enjoy the view. Especially Tom.

Tom taught me how to take apart a computer. I was a little disappointed. I always thought computers were these magic things that had thousands of pieces in them and it turns out it's just a bunch of quick-disconnecting parts. On the plus side I think he finally figured out how to take his rifle down and put it back together again.

Met a few new Freedomers today including another girl. Told me her name was Keyla. Seemed friendly, will be nice to have a normal girl around to talk to. Rumors spread fast in Freedom, I had no idea how much Tom liked me until several Freedomers approached me asking about it (perverts). I'm glad he loves me, he's such a great guy! What luck I've had so far out here!

Day started out wonderful. Tyr brought in an old...I guess they are called Exoskeletons that he needed me to fix up. Was a fun project. Using hydraulics to move limbs, simple but very effective from what I've seen so far. Patched up a hole in one of the pistons with some epoxy and greased everything, Tyr seemed pleased with it. Schelk wanted his Desert Eagle engraved so I did a Dragon on it similar to Lassy's G36. He was also pleased.

Heard rumors of an old TV lying around in one of the bars, dragged it back to base with the help of a STALKER. Had a busted tube, was pretty easy to fix. Needs a proper antenna but with the coat hanger-rusty pipe wrench homemade one it can pick up a few channels.

After the TV Tommy and I were sitting in the bunker, I was giving him a back rub. All of a sudden some soldiers burst in and blew the door off. They handcuffed and blindfolded us, then moved us to the military base. They set us down in a very small cell, I was terrified and I think Tommy was too. One of the soldiers was going on about how a certain Lieutenant was going to rape me and how they were going to feed Tommy to a bloodsucker. Then they separated us, I thought I'd never see Tommy alive again.

They locked me in a room and left me to sit there for several minutes, although they had at least removed my handcuffs and blindfold. One of the soldiers came in with some drinks and some other stuff and then left again. I was surprised. Drank a soda because I was so thirsty, all the while fearing that Tommy was right now being executed while I was "enjoying" the military hospitality.

A different soldier came in after about an hour, she told me her name was Krystal. She was quite pretty and actually friendly which was unexpected. She brought me some soup and tried to comfort me which seemed weird. This whole time they never asked me any questions at all or anything, although Krystal did tell me that Tommy was fine.

After another hour or so they dragged Tommy in with me. He was fine. I clung to him for probably 10 minutes. I-I never felt like that about anyone before. I think I love him. The military released us shortly after that. Seemed like Krystal's boyfriend was one of the soldiers present they seemed moved by our embrace.

After we got back to base we...uh...we made love for the first time. I fell asleep with my hand intertwined with his.
((No you sickos we didn't actually cyber, this is just IC. Everything else happened in server, this part didn't other than Tom and I agreeing that this is what happened))

Wow I love your IC stories.  Should have known these would be interesting just from your old tale about getting PKed.

Glad you like them. I haven't had any big IC events happen to me so my "epic story" well has run dry. Keeping track of these dailyish events is fun and it's actually cool for me to be like "wow all this happened over about a week" icly.

Paint add about me putting the radio to the door and punching me in the face

[/I]

// wasn't sure if you took forum messages or not but I saw the messages tab and I went ahead and posted an ic message. You can go ahead and post a response in my PDA area if you want.

// Yeah. . . I was hoping that Freezekidz wouldn't know about it on his Dutier. . . >.>

Well where to begin? I found Tommy and listened to what he had to say. Apparently he has some crazy, murderous ex girlfriend who's the jealous type. Great. What I took away from the conversation was that I need to learn how to fight. Need to find Tyr or Goose or someone and get them to teach me.

Finished up the engine, the transmission and it are mated. Had to make a spacer because the transmission's shaft was smaller than the engine's but it should hold...probably. Also forced Tommy to let me cut his hair. Didn't like it long, in my opinion he looked like a girl from the back. I think I did a decent job, it now doesn't flow over his eyes and make him look depressed at all hours. He seemed...hesitant. But at least I have a few weeks to enjoy it before it grows back. Tommy went to bed early, normally we hang out for hours into the night. Guess this girlfriend thing is hard for him. Don't really know how I feel about it at this point. Tommy swears he loves me and I think I love him but...maybe it's just me being jealous...

Tried to get into the junkyard, discovered the military had put an electric fence along the whole perimeter. Wasn't hard to get through at all, though I didn't realize it was electric at first...ow. Grabbed my welding gloves and some bolt cutters and cut a huge hole in it in about 5 minutes. Should try and find a wire or something to permanently ground it. Will take out the whole fence by doing that since it'll disrupt the circuit.

Succeeded on making it to the scrapyard, salvaged some brakes and gauges from several cars out there, we'll see if any of them work for the project car.

Need to remember to talk to Tyr about getting something for Tommy, it might make him feel better.

Today was hard. Yesterday I...kind of snapped. Schelk made some remark about me and Tommy having sex and..I kind of...sort of...tackled him and slapped him about 50 times. Think Tommy was impressed. Schelk is now...afraid of me. It's a strange thought....but back to today...

I wake up and find Schelk's been captured. Go on a raid against military to try and get him back. My first raid. My first gun fight. So we all gear up and rally at the bridge near that old train station behind the military base. We all split up. I ran around to the front and hid behind that big rock hoping to...I don't even know. I never wanted to fight or shoot anyone but I felt bad for Schelk and...and then the shooting started. I saw some soldiers on the roof and...and...and I raised my rifle, and waited. And...one of them poked their head over to try and spot the positions of the team going straight through the back. I lined up his head in my sights, and pulled the trigger. It was...it was so easy, like taking a wolf back home with Grandpa's old Mosin. His head was there and then all of a sudden it was just...there was a red mist and...and he didn't come back up. A second soldier stood up. He didn't see me either and...he actually fell over the side when my bullet hit him. How easy it was...and now I'm a killer.

Kept up suppressing fire on the base but somehow I got flanked. A burst ripped through my chest and I dropped. I could hear my radio faintly, the other Freedomers were pulling back. I couldn't move, just lay there. A patrol swept out from the base and I was captured though by that point I was so far into shock I don't think I even realized what was happening. A medic fixed me up, again surprising me. Military seem to treat me well. Guess they don't see too many girls...bad joke.

Schelk was in the same holding area so I was relieved to see he was still safe, although he didn't look to have been treated as well. Another STALKER was sitting near me, said her name was Jayne. Seemed nice enough...weird that all these normal people work for the soldiers after some of the stories I've heard...

Tyr showed up with the rest of Freedom, apparently no one got killed but a lot of them were hurt. Not sure what they did but Military released Schelk and I. Felt ashamed that I needed to be rescued. Went back to base and realized what I had done. Felt like shit, knowing that I'm now a murderer. Tommy...well he's great but he doesn't understand.

I had to be alone for a bit, started trying to make another LR300 take AK47 mags. While I was working Tommy's crazy old girlfriend showed up. I finished prototype 2 and walked outside just as he was about to cut himself. I...kind of...pounced on him and slapped sense into him. He started crying...I don't think I know how hard this is for him. Then his girlfriend started pointing a gun at him and...well my new prototype works. I don't know what I was thinking but...I just...just shot her. Didn't kill her but...I'm scared of what I'm becoming.

Things have actually been kind of boring recently. Haven't had many projects, am going insane. Tommy seems to have forgotten to tell me that he is not only manically depressed but possibly insane too. I...I don't know about him any more. He's changed, become forgetful, unstable. I think maybe I should find someone else...

Tyr told me I need to learn how to fight. Great, one more step on the path to murderous rampages... Tommy taught me some stuff, then I graduated to Schelk. Schelk laid me out pretty good but I got him in the end with a leg lock. I'm getting better at this...and I don't like it.

Found out Keyla is back with the military. She and I weren't really close but...she was nice and a medic and....well it sucks. Feeling kind of down right now, things aren't going well. Don't really know who to turn to.

Killed...another....person today. Blew him up with a grenade. Again, was too easy, just *Phoont* *BOOOM* and he was gone...

Quote from: Paintcheck on 25-04-2010
I think maybe I should find someone else...

// :o Oh noes!

Quote from: Paintcheck on 25-04-2010


Found out Keyla is back with the military.

{End Log 6}

// They all come back. And you can turn to that noose hanging over my tower, ready and waiting to hear your pleas.

Things with Tommy reached an all-time low. He disappeared for about a week, I got depressed. Started drinking to get drunk...gah vodka tastes horrible. I-I...cut myself a few times. Of course when I feel absolutely horrible, Tommy's DAD of all people shows up in the Zone and sets up shop in Freedom. He told me Tommy wasn't really a criminal, which didn't help much. Continued to get drunk and do stupid things. Finally Brandon caught me and put a stop to it. I owe him.

Tommy showed up about the same time Brandon did, we talked about his past and we made up.

Andrick taught me how to play basketball. He seems to think I'm a natural after I spanked Tommy on the court and then beat him too. Basketball is awesome, can't believe I never played it before.

That's about it. I'm so glad to have Tommy back.

Yes, relationship conflict has been resolved.

Every day it seems I grow further and further away from what I used to be. I've graduated from Tommy and Schelk's combat training and moved onto Andrick. Andrick knows his stuff, guess he was something of a martial artist. Taught me a lot, has me on this ranking system. Taught me some crazy routine with a wooden sword that he says is for discipline, then taught me some actual techniques. They are absolutely BRUTAL, make what Tommy and Schelk taught me look like...well...it's not comparable. Andrick's moves are designed to injure and end the fight. We sparred for the first time a few days after training started. Andrick laid the hurt on me, he seemed worried that he might have really injured me but I was more pissed with myself for losing...which is strange. Typically I don't mind losing at games, but I got angry at this. We went again and I wrecked him. I don't know if he was going easy on me but... I still don't like it. He seemed very impressed but I'm tired of learning how to injure people. Finding I have a talent for it just...I don't know.

Few days ago Monolith probed our checkpoint at the Sector 1 tunnel. Tyr ordered Tommy and I to flank them. And for once there was no fear. Shot at them. Killed one of them up close with 3 shots to the chest bangbangbang. She was a girl, couldn't have been much older than me. The worst part is, this time I didn't feel anything afterward. Just the shakes from adrenaline but...I think my conscious has given up on me. I don't want to be a monster...
That same day a Duty convoy came rolling through Sector 2 with medical supplies in it. The truck hit an anomaly or something, made a loud noise and caught fire. Tyr sent me to investigate it. It was night and Brandon and I headed out, staying quiet. We got in close to observe but I guess we weren't stealthy enough as Duty started pouring fire on us. Kept my head down, the volume was murderous. We didn't lose anyone but we were pinned down with the rest of Freedom stuck in the tunnel. Again, I wasn't afraid just...angry at being shot at. Duty pulled back quickly, leaving some miscellaneous supplies behind that Brandon and I recovered.

Seth cracked his VSS' stock hitting a Monolith over the head with it. Couldn't salvage the stock so I cut it off and welded an AK 74 folder to it. Seth seemed happy so I guess it worked. Apparently the Monolith he hit he also captured. Saw her around. Yeah another girl in Freedom. Should talk to her, been a real sausage fest since Keyla...since Andrick killed Keyla...and I didn't do anything to stop him. Also found out Andrick has a girlfriend. Her name is Autumn, seems nice enough. Apparently Andrick and Autumn's ex boyfriend are going at it. God why do I put up with this? I should just hook up with another girl and forget this relationship garbage...Told that to Tom, he's really guillable, was very funny. Sat with him at our spot and watched the sun go down over the Zone. His lap makes a good pillow. Also cut his air again. Then Andrick wanted his cut so I gave him a mohawk which he was hesitant about at first but seemed to really enjoy once I finished.

Mood right now is...I don't even know. The more I think about fighting, violence, the more I regret coming here. If I didn't have Tommy and my other great friends I don't know what I'd do. I'm scared above everything else, what's new? This time it's different though, I'm scared of losing myself and becoming a killer. I've already killed 4 people and it gets easier and easier. I don't want it to, but it does. I need to find Blaze and talk to him. He always makes me feel better. Reminds me of Dad...the way he calls me Little One...he's....comforting.

// lol too bad you wheren't there when Tommy kicked Brandons ass for calling Nikki a bitch.

// I'd just like to point out that Schelk almost accidently killed Andrick IC a while back. :B

// Andrick almost snapped Schelk's arm off, stfu.

QuoteGod why do I put up with this? I should just hook up with another girl and forget this relationship garbage...Told that to Tom, he's really guillable, was very funny.

LOL, DO IT!

Quote from: Ping-Pong on 05-05-2010
// Andrick almost snapped Schelk's arm off, stfu.

QuoteGod why do I put up with this? I should just hook up with another girl and forget this relationship garbage...Told that to Tom, he's really guillable, was very funny.

LOL, DO IT!

// Dude twas a joke Ping Pong.

// Must read more!

//Do more, I love reading these.\\

// I have a big one coming soon.

//Woohoo! :D

Whew. Things just...I don't even know if they are better or worse or what. Probably worse. In fact, definitely worse.

Alright to start Freedom got raided by a 1 man army. Should say 1 woman army actually. Some-I hesitate to even call her a person-thing launched an attack on Freedom. Just bum rushed the base flinging nades everywhere. Was real fun. Shot me in the chest and shot Tommy up pretty bad...and shot everyone else up pretty much. And then she just....stopped. Tied her up and held her I guess, not really sure since I was bleeding bad from the gunshot. Luckily Freedom has a STALKER who knows something about medicine, his name is Matthias. He patched me up real well. Got kind of flustered while doing it, made Tommy uncomfortable to have another man essentially fondling my breasts but...he was professional and frankly embarrassed to be doing it so I didn't really mind.

2 days or so after that the creature (whose name is apparently Halo) escaped. Seth and Goose claimed Blaze and Jayne had something to do with it. I don't believe it since they are both good friends but....Blaze is gone, haven't seen him in weeks and Seth and Goose have apparently been actively trying to kill him. And he hasn't tried to clear his name so...No. I won't believe that.

Andrick left the Zone with Autumn recently. Decided to start a life on his own. Didn't even say goodbye. I wish him well but...I never got to tell him...well...that I loved him. Not to say I don't love Tom but Andrick was much more than a friend. I hope he is happy, wherever he is. Maybe one day I'll see him again. Speaking of departures Brandon took off back to America. Apparently he's ill or something and needs to get back for treatment. All my friends are leaving. It's sad. Picked up another recruit, her name is Erin. God she reminds me so much of me it's...crazy. She's really shy but she'll come around. I did...sort of.

While recovering I met with Matthias a few times. Each time he got flustered, I actually felt bad for him. Guess he doesn't work with too many girls. Nice guy. Things healed well and I'm back to playing basketball but...it's just not the same without Andrick. Seems it just isn't as fun any more...God I miss him.

Been thinking about this all for a while now and...I've decided to leave the Zone. Want to go home and talk to my parents, want to get away from the killing and the vileness of this place. I...don't know if I'll come back. I haven't told anyone but Tommy, just so he wouldn't worry. I don't want him following me, I just don't want him to worry when I'm gone. I told him to find a new girl and forget about me, and that maybe I'll come back one day. He would have none of that. Somewhat ironically he had someone make a beautiful necklace for me. Has a nightstar chunk in it and is engraved to say "To Nikki, with all my love, your love Tommy" No one has ever given me something like that before. Actually no one has ever given me any sort of jewelry before. We made love under the stars that night afterward. Felt terrible after but...I need to do this. I need to go home for a bit, if for no other reason than to talk to my parents again. I need time to think. And maybe I will stay in the real world, find my niche and not have to go back to the killing or the danger. And then I always think "But what about Tommy?"

My bags are packed and I have an exfil plan in place. I leave in two days. I'll see what happens then.

//

Quote from: Paintcheck on 23-05-2010
Picked up another recruit, her name is Erin. God she reminds me so much of me it's...crazy.

Funny since Bto knows your char OOCly too.  Hmm...

// Now I go cry.

// Cry some moar STALKER

((From the back woods comes my most recent log. It's funny that I wrote this while on my 3 day solo since it's about Nikki coming home when I still had 6 days in the woods left in real life. Think it turned out really good))


Been out of the Zone for about a week now, am writing this on paper instead of a PDA. Feels weird. Decided to continue keeping a journal back here in the "real world".

Departed the Zone last Wednesday. Posted 1 final message on the Freedom Network, grabbed Grandpa's Mosin and my things, and left early in the morning. Hiked back to the Cordon, luckily everyone I knew was asleep so I didn't have to get awkward. Thought about waking Tommy up to say good bye but...I think this way is better. I hope he doesn't hate me...

At the Cordon I met up with my ride, a soldier who handles resupply for the big firebase out here. Was wary but heard he was legit from a few people so I tried not to worry too much. Kept my LR300 close by the whole way, just in case. Driver talked a fair amount, guess he does this a lot for STALKERs to supplement his income but hasn't ever met one like me (I am just now getting used to the sense of wonder people have out here when they see boobs...but yeah). Seemed like an ok person so I spoke a bit. Once we reached the checkpoint though, things got dicey. I was wearing an old BDU jacket so from a distance the guards would assume I was a soldier but as luck would have it the CO at the post hasn't seen a girl in weeks and started to hit on me. Which wouldn't have been a problem to shrug off except that I didn't know what to say when asked about my unit, CO, or MO. Truck-dude (whose name I never got) came to my rescue and said I was attached to the supply unit outside the Zone which is why the guard had never seen me before. We drove off quickly before anyone else asked any more questions.

He dropped me off about halfway between the supply base and the Cordon. I thanked him, tried to pay him but he wouldn't take my money. He wished me luck and I was off. That was when it hit me how sketchy I probably looked. Was wearing my Freedom BDUs, Tommy's tie dye shirt, and carrying the LR300 and the Mosin Nagant. This close to the Cordon a soldier or a cop might have seen me for what I was. Walked as fast as I could down the road because it was still early and no cars were out yet. The second I heard one (after a few hours of walking) I ducked into the woods and figured I could say I was hunting or something and it might be believable. Luckily no one ever paid attention to me or if they noticed me they chose not to care. Either way I made good time.

Arrived in the vicinity of home that night but was late and I didn't want to cause a disturbance. Slept outside under the stars. Stars have always fascinated me. I always used to wonder what else is out there and if, maybe somewhere far out in space, a girl like me is looking at the night sky and wondering the same thing.

Woke up late and immediately wondered where I was. First time in a while I haven't been in either a barracks full of people or next to Tommy. Felt terrified at confronting everyone again, especially Mom, but I figured I had already come this far so I went for it.

Tried to ignore the weird looks as I walked to my house. Lots of double-takes and mumbling as I passed. I know a few of the other people my age also turned S.T.A.L.K.E.R, though I haven't seen any of them in the Zone ((If anyone wants to RP that, let me know)). I think some of the villagers knew what I had been doing. Reached home after running this gauntlet of curious eyes and tried the knob. Locked, of course. I knocked awkwardly. Heard barking inside. The door open and Shadow bolted out, leaping on me and knocking me over. Dad was close behind. He started to apologize for Shadow, saw it was me, and joined me on the ground, hugging me and apologizing and reprimanding me all at once. Just when he and the dog started to let up Mom showed up and I was hit with another wave of emotion (though I stayed on my feet this time).

After all that was over we went into the kitchen and I told them what I had been doing. Well, parts of it anyway. Focused mainly on being a mechanic and the fun parts. Didn't talk about fighting or Tommy, didn't want to alarm them. Handed over the money I had made, they were astonished. They thought I was such a useless screw-up before but boy did I prove them wrong. Another round of hugging and crying followed. I realized I probably looked like a wreck so I excused myself and went up to my room. Everything was how I had left it, including the TV I was fixing before I departed for the Zone. This was the first time I had seen a real mirror in ages.

I have always been skinny but working in the Zone had changed that. I now had some muscle on me and frankly I thought I looked good. My hair had grown out a bit, I have always kept it short to keep it out of my eyes but...maybe I'll keep it. Maybe I should stop trying to be "one of the guys" and just be...me. I closed the door and pulled Tommy's shirt off. The scar on my chest was fading and everything else looked good. I muttered "Thank you" to Matthias, wherever he is, and took a shower. To please Mom I brushed my hair and put on a dress. I don't typically wear them but it makes Mom happy so...whatever. Part of me wished Tommy could see me now.

Headed back downstairs. Both Mom and Dad noticed my new appearance right away, that almost started the hugging and crying again. Even Shadow gave me a curious look, then he plopped down at my feet on the floor next to my chair. It was then they noticed my necklace.

"Where did you get that?" asked Mom, extending her hand to see it. I explained it was a piece of an artifact as I handed it over, hoping they wouldn't notice the inscription. Of course they did:

"To My Love Nikki, Love Tommy"

I had to explain now. The table went silent and then my Mom, realizing how painful this was, started making lunch. We ate and they caught me up with what was happening at home.

It was nice to be back in my own bed, in my own house, not getting shot at, with a warm dog to comfort me. It was good to be home but...I think I might have made a mistake...

Oh, Tommy!

// I liked it, log ten will now be a mystery if anyone ever gets a hand on that PDA of yours.

Almost forgot about these. Have a lot to talk about in this one.

For starters I died. Like lights-out, no breathing, shot in the head dead. And then I got better.

It all started after I'd been home for a bit when Tommy showed up...I don't know how he found me but he did. He met my parents and things went...well surprisingly. He dragged me back to the Zone, saying that Freedom needed me and that he would protect me which I thought was kind of cute, chivalrous and all.

My first day back in the Zone Tommy and me were snuggling in his hot tub talking about the future and all of a sudden we hear an explosion. Over the radio we hear a bunch of cries for help from Schelk and some other rookies, they were saying Monolith were invading the junkyard. We rushed to help.

With my SVD I bagged 4 of them but they managed to surround us and I got shot in the side and incapacitated. The Monolith were interested in prisoners so they dragged all of us still alive in a big pile. I was terrified and seeing Tommy all shot up didn't help. I groped for his hand and held on tight.

The Monolith leader was going around to all the prisoners and examining them. He executed all of them and then he got to me and Tommy. He stopped at me first. Somehow I knew that this was going to be the end. I squeezed his hand and said "I love you." One of the Monos told the leader "She was that sniper" and that settled it. He looked me right in the eye and said "Love is for the weak" and...and then everything went black as he pulled the trigger.

...And then I woke up. I came to and it was the weirdest feeling I was like a ghost. My body was gone but I was still conscious. Standing across from me was a girl but...something was strange about her. She wasn't human, I could tell. She explained that she had nabbed my Soul after I got shot and was holding onto it and that was why I was still alive. And then just to taunt me she said she intended to use my Soul to get back at Andrick for something...It's a wonder I didn't go crazy...She also said she could take me to Tommy which I begged her to do. She laughed and said "Be careful what you wish for" and set me off.

Tommy apparently had been deemed fit as a prisoner and the Monolith had dragged him to their base and did...whatever it is they do to people. He was alone on a bunk with the dog tags I made for him still around his neck. I tried to snuggle up with him but that proved problematic as I was apparently invisible. He certainly realized someone was there but when I tried to talk to him (he could hear me) he didn't know who I was and was suspicious and angry. Well that made me want to kill myself but...well yeah.

The creature then called me back. She/it wanted me to talk to Andrick next so I did. I explained what happened and he nearly lost it. Apparently the mutant/demon/creature thing had told him that she/it had my Soul and could make me come back...for a price. That price was Andrick's Soul and he was all set to sacrifice himself for me and Tommy even after I begged him to forget it. The demon seemed to think all this was an absolute riot. The rest of us were not amused.

I'm not really sure what happened between then and when I came back to life, the demon didn't let me out for any length of time so I was stuck in...nothingness for I don't know how long. Then one day I found myself with Tommy again...except he was still brainwashed. Apparently he had been rescued from the Monolith so he was now a STALKER but he still had no emotions nor did he know who I was. I don't really recall that conversation, I had been growing steadily weaker and weaker like this world's hold on me was slowly unraveling. I probably cried. A lot.

About that time another mutant walked in. This one also looked human but his eyes were...oh God they were scary. He had my body with him. He informed us that someone had paid to...restore us. While I was trying to wrap my ghost-brain around that he knocked Tommy out and somehow fixed him. And then he...did something and I...woke up. In my body. Alive.

Since then I've been playing a lot of basketball and working on guns and trying not to think about what happened. Tommy and me are talking about getting married, I don't know if I'm ready for that but at the same time I died and...bah I'll worry about that later.

After a few weeks of enjoying being alive again Tommy and I again found ourselves cuddling in his room. He had been growing marijuana and I wanted to try some. That was a mistake. I'm not really sure what happened after but I remember there being a bunch of Tommy's friends in his room all drunk and stoned and at some point I apparently got on that pole he has with my top off and another Freedomer got pictures and...Tommy and I beat him senseless. And I'm ashamed when I think about how much I enjoyed hurting him for taking pictures of me. I am a monster.

Tommy's been teaching me English. I feel like I should thank him for that. I talked to a trader who is apparently a friend of his and asked him to get me some lingerie and dresses and stuff. I hope Tommy likes it...

Wow this is really well written but is this a love novel? Also lol I saw that one thing with the medical supplies and against duty. I was there and I actally think I remember seeing you hiding in a bush and you were like please don't or something oocly. Good thing I didn't.

Happy Birthday to me! Well, yesterday was my actual birthday but I didn't have time to write. Finally not a teenager any more, it's weird how old I feel even though I'm only 20. Guess that's what happens when you come back from the dead...

Tommy and I left the Zone last week for an "extended vacation" in Tommy's words. At first I wasn't sure if I was ready to leave. As terrifying as the Zone is it is also the only place in the world where I can be who I am...But I decided I need to trust Tommy more, especially after he observed one time while we were cuddling that I was the "boy" in this relationship. Thought about it and he's right so I decided to make him man up and make decisions himself. And playing "hard to get" with him is hilarious...

Anyway we had been talking about leaving since I was....uh...resurrected? and Tommy finally arranged it. Thanks to Blaze we got actual papers and passports and all that stuff so we were able to not only leave the Zone but leave Ukraine. I was nervous at first about leaving Freedom (both the group and the freedom that comes with being in the Zone) but Tommy assured me that it would be worth it.

Tommy's already been to my home so he decided to take me to America. This was problematic as my English is not that good. And by "not that good" I mean I can't read it, write it, speak more than a few sentences of it, or understand it. Also marked the first time I had been in an airport before or on a plane. Was a loooooong flight but Tommy makes a good pillow. We arrived in New York and I have never seen buildings that tall or that many people. Ever. It turned out to be a short stop as Tommy hates the city and we were just waiting for our next flight which took us to Tennessee where Tommy grew up ((Tom if I got any part of this wrong let me know so I can fix it, it was a while since we did that RP where we talked about where you came from)). This seemed more my speed. We spent a few days in a hotel before finding an apartment. We didn't have all that much with us since apparently in America guns and kevlar aren't acceptable everyday wear. At least the apartment had some furniture in it already.

Thanks to Eastwood I had all the clothes, underwear and everything else I would ever need for the rest of my life but Tommy didn't, mostly because I kept ruining his shirts in the Zone by getting shot while wearing them. He set out to go get some food and clothes and I stayed behind. Tried watching American TV, didn't understand any of it and ended up taking a nap. Tom came home and we ate and snuggled some more.

The next few days we spent relaxing and enjoying being out of the Zone...or at least he did. I've never been so bored and I can't believe I feel that way but I do. For my birthday Tom spent most of the day making sure I was happy and we went out to eat. He tried making a cake for me, too. It was a valiant effort but....well it tasted ok at least. He's so sweet but he could stand to learn a thing or two about cooking.

After he went to bed I slipped out and looked at the sky for a bit because I always like seeing the stars, but only a few were visible. It's nothing like the pitch black of the Zone...

....There are skyscrapers in ukraine, infact...there is no taxes on making property that thousands of buildings,homes,etc are being built.

//She's from a rural area I know the Ukraine has skyscrapers.

It's been a long time little one.. I wish i could have followed you two out of this place.. But it's not my destiny to leave the zone.
I'm sorry that i left you two like i did.. I wish i could have seen you and Tom settle down, get married..
But the zone has something different in store for me.
People like me don't get happy endings. I have a long road ahead of me..
I'm sorry that i couldn't do more for you little one.
I wish you and Tom the best.. And know that i'll always be here for you little one.
Ps Tell Tom i'll kick his ass if he fucks up.

// Im gonna miss these lol

Quote from: Tom on 14-08-2010
// Im gonna miss these lol

.// I see wha'chu ded dar "Subject: From Russian with Love"

Wow it has been a while. Seems I have less and less to write about these days since I'm not getting shot at every other day. Thanks to Tommy's dad we now have a house...it's enormous compared to back home. Has a well-stocked basement with all sorts of tools and things for me to play with. It's awesome.

English lessons are still going on, I think I'm getting better but I still don't like speaking in English if I can help it.

The Zone continues to call to me. I got a message from...I think it's from Blaze which has to be a hoax or something because Tom told me he died...then again I died once and look at me now. More troubling is the Demon, that creature Andrick got involved with has been-I don't know how to describe it-haunting me. It's furious at Andrick (what else is new?) but for some reason it takes its anger out on me. Every few nights it will start talking in my head, making me relive dying over and over again and otherwise hurting me. I can't stop it. I think it's hoping I will somehow convince Andrick to go back and deal with it but I don't think that is likely to happen. Since it can talk to me and I'm 6000+ miles away I don't see why it can't talk to Andrick whose less than 1000 ((I didn't actually look up how far either of those places are from the Zone, don't post like "lol you can't do distances" it's not important)). Tommy tries to make me feel better when it happens but he can't do much. The Demon is my head and nothing Tommy does makes it go away. It leaves when it wants to.

I don't want to tell Tommy this, but I really want to get back in the Zone if for no other reason than to get the Demon to stop bothering me. Andrick angered it, Andrick should be the one paying, not me.

The Demon has stopped bothering me...and I got a strange call from Andrick about the time when it happened. He called asking if the Demon had stopped just out of the blue and when I tried to ask him what he was talking about he abruptly hung up. I think he might have once again gone back to the Zone. Well...part of me worries about him, he was like a brother to me, but at the same time part of me is glad he went to go face the Demon and get it to stop taking its anger out on me.

Don't have much else to say, normal life isn't very interesting to write about.


She turns the PDA off and sets it on the desk and crawls back into her bed. She pulls the covers up and closes her eyes but sleep doesn't come immediately. She thinks again of her death and the Demon, replaying those events over and over in her mind (this time of her own free will and not from the Demon haunting her) and finally drifts off to an exhausted, restless sleep.

Woke up today and felt restless and bored. These feelings have been following me for a while and I don't like them. The Demon has stayed silent so whatever Andrick did he managed to shut it up though I bet it is still out there. Don't think Andrick killed it, he was strangely attached to the thing.

I'm still able to log onto the Freedom network even out here in America so I check it occasionally. Got excited when I saw they were putting together an exoskeleton and was all set to help...and then remembered that I'm not there any more.

Learning English is going well, Tommy says I am almost fluent although I still have an accent. He says it's sexy. Not sure if he's joking or not but it makes me laugh either way. He always knows what to say...Maybe I should talk to him about going back. Just for a little bit...


She knows those thoughts are dangerous, knows she should stay away but the Zone seems to call to her every day in some way or another. Perhaps she lost part of her Soul there when she died, perhaps it's the Demon, perhaps she is just bloodthirsty and wants to kill again (though she would never admit that to herself). She looks at her rifle hanging on the wall almost longingly for a moment before she hears Tommy walk in. She buries her PDA behind a stack of magazines and smiles at him. She stands and walks over to hug him, but in the back of her head she hears the Zone whispering to her...

//Then suddenly, She flys a jet into freedom smashing into the wall. Hops out and is like I am back!
Everyone in freedom Q.Q's because they're happy shes back, Then she has a stroke. The end xD

So bored. America is too safe...that's a weird thought to have. Haven't been writing much because nothing ever happens.

I want to go back.

There I said it.

{End Log 16}

// Didn't we say Tommy got shot and shit(non-fatal), sorry to interject and stuff but yeah, I was planning a long story but stuff popped up