Right this is my charactors back story, I tryed not to make it to much "Lol charactor" This is how i like to write, it starts off bad but then it gets better then goes into my "Zone" story.
The young person called Niko came to the zone. His past life.. oh he wish that never happened. Everything he did always
went wrong. His brothers always bulled him. His mothe and father was never around, they both worked long
hours to put food on the table. The day when Niko turned 16 was the day he joined a Gang. He use to hang out on the streets
with a group of friends.Niko was the youngest
out of the 3 of them. Alex, who was 24, Andre age 20. Alex the oldest carried a 9mm pistol. His lucky glock 18 kept him
alive. Wanted by the police for 3 years he kept his head down and got shit done. Andre, left his family for the gang, his
family rejected him his whole life. His family know now what it is like to lose a son. Andre rejects from his whole life.
One day, Niko and his crew had a job, they had to remove a revile mobster. They all got armed. Niko took a glock 18, Andre
took the AK-47, Alex, took his trusted Glock 18. As Alex drove the car to the spot. Looking out the window, all you could
see was haters, drug deals, rape. Everything happened here, police forces feared this place. To many people have died here.
Niko, sat back, took a quick prey as he stepped out of the car. Fear overcame Niko as he walked down the ally to meet the
mobster. Alex stood strong next to Niko as Andre climbed up a ladder to the roof of a building. The mobster stood there. Out
of no where, 4 people came from behind him, all armed with UZis. One of the Men opened fire, Niko and Alex dived each way.
Behind Bins,Boxes, tramps. Bullets flying everywhere, Niko drawled his Glock. Alex was already Shooting. Andre got to the
roof, He took aim... And..."Click". The AK-47 jammed, he lead down on the roof taking fire from the mobsters, trying to cock
it to try un jam it. Suddenly, a scream is heard, The voice sounded like a bird being beat to death. One of the mobsters
fell to the floor dead. Niko Put his hand over the bin, glock loaded and ready, he pulls the trigger, the bullet flys and
hits a mobster in the face. The mobster falls back dead, he died before he hit the floor. As three mobsters stood fighting.
Andre cocked the AK-47 and it unjamed, he stood up, He unlashed a Rain of fire on the mobsters, In a flash, the dropped like
flys, all of them hit the floor dead, as Andre's AK fired over and over and over again. His legs shaking as he drops the
gun. He sits down, tears running down his face, in fear, In sadness of him killing someone. Alex loaded a New magazine into
his gun as he shot all 5 of the mobsters again to make sure they were dead. Niko stood in shock, Knowing he had killed
someone. The fear ran down his face, everything seemed quiet. Alex kneel down at the mobster they had to kill, He took out a
huge amount of money. Niko Stares at Alex As he says
"This... was all over money"
Alex turns and nods and walks off. Niko watched him, with the huge amount of money, notes dropping from Alex's hand. Andre,
still up crying, Niko in shock. Alex acting like nothing happened. Andre pulls himself to gather and makes his way down the
ladder, AK in hand. Niko and Alex waiting in the car, Andre steps in the car.
Alex says "You got blood on your hands now, Now you killed someone, you can kill anyone now".
Niko and Andre look at each other. Both repeating that line again and again in their mind. .
Alex pulls over outside Niko's house. Niko opens the door and steps out. Then out of the blue, a car
comes flying past, Bullets come flying out of it. Niko took a bullet to the chest, he fell back hitting the rear of the car
falling back, grasping for air, crying in pain, he could not feel anything. Shock came across him as he led on the floor,
hands covered in blood. Andre rips open the door, AK in hand, He takes aim, he says to him self
"You got blood on your hands now, Now you killed someone, you can kill anyone now".
He holded down the trigger, bullets fly at the car. One hit the driver in the back of the head. The car Spins out of
control, it rolls over, crashing the guy who was hanging out the window. Andre keeps the trigger down, until it goes click.
Everything went dead quiet. Sirens are heard as the car drives off. Andre, Alex out of the shot. Niko laying there, betrayed
from his crew. The police pull over, the pat him down for anything
"Nothing sir"
Thoughts ran into Niko's mind
"My..Gun..Where"
Later that day, Niko was in hospital. His family stood by him, Niko told the police that a car just drove past and opened
fire at him. Niko phone rang
"Niko, What did you tell the police"
"That. A car just drove past and opened fired on me"
"Good boy."
Alex hangs up.
Chapter 2 |The don|
Four weeks after the shooting, Niko got back on his feet. HE left on a long walk to Alex's place. He took a deep breath and
knocked on the door. The door opened, Alex invited Niko in and led him into a room. In the room, sat The Don, Andre and
allot
of other people. Niko looked at the don. The Don smiles and offers him a seat. A long talk goes on as Niko gets promoted up
to a soldier, the lowest rank in the Mafia. Niko asked for his Glock 18, he was told "No". One of the mobsters Takes out a
357 Magnum and hands it to Niko. The shiver shone in his face as 6 golden bullets sat in side. NIko had a little play around
with it, The don smiles. A few hours later after a few drinks, Niko left with his New magnum. Walking down the dark streets,
he came up to his house. He knocked, His mum welcomes him in, Niko runs up stairs in a flesh, hiding the magnum. And coming
back down, his dinner sat on the table. A cold KFC, His mum told him to eat it or he will get a slap. His brother came and
started poking him in the back, Niko turns and glares at his brother, His brother aged 19 kept poking him, Niko turned,
pulling his fist back, and Smack. His brother fell back, his nose bleeding. Niko's mum screaming. Niko ran upstairs, his
brother running after him. Niko panics and trys to open his door, his brother runs up and with all his power smacks Niko in
the arm,Niko grabs his arm in pain returning with a jab to the face, He kicks the door open.Running in, His brother comes in
crazy. Niko Runs onto his bed, his brother follows him and stands punching him in the ribs. His other brother ran in and
pulled him off. Niko got up and ran off to Alex's house and told his Mother , that he was moving out.
Chapter 3- One years later
One year on, Niko still living with Alex, who is now age 25.Andre Stops by, Age 21. With 7 kills all together. They
were all promoted. They got called out on a major job.
"Hey its the Don, A Major drug shipment is coming in, this is impotent, you fuck up, and I will have you shot".
They all ran to the car, Opening the doors diving in. Foot down to the dock yard. They pull up at a car park. Andre slips
the AK-47 under the seat, all three of them step out of the car. Andre Putting his Deagle in his pocket, Alex still having
his glock and Niko with the 357. They walked up, The crate sat there. Two men walked up and quickly picked it up. Alex ran
up and punched one of the men in the face, the crate falls onto him, as he yells in pain. The other man pulls a Knife, Andre
pulls his deagle throws it in the air and catching it on the barrel, and runs up and beats the ram around the head, over and
over again. Suddenly a car Pulls up, four men run out. Bullets start firing at Niko. Niko runs to cover, Alex turned, A
bullet, the sudden second, which could change life for ever. The bullet flys into his face, blood flys out as he hits the
floor. Niko starts shaking, not in fear, In anger. He Runs out of cover with his 357, he Aims and starts firing. NIko takes
out one of the men, but gets shot in the chest, he falls back dropping the 357, Andre the only one who can fight. He runs
off. The men from the car start to walk up to Niko. One of them kicks Alex's body into the water. One of them looks down at
Niko, He knees down, looking around 35 he puts the gun towards Niko head.
"Your to young".
He Takes out a pill, he slips it into Niko mouth, Niko passes out. Two of the men pick up the crate, the other grabs
niko,. As they make their way to the car, a pipe bomb rolls along the floor, it explodes. All of the men fall back. As
Andre steps out of cover Spraying with his AK-47. A explosion is heard, a nearby fuel pipe exploded. The Heat enrages all
over them. Andre Crawls to Niko grabbing his leg, dragging him. They get to car, A police truck pulls up, filled with armed
officers. Andre throws Niko in the car, he hops in the drivers seat, he puts his foot down... Why is the car not moving, No
keys. He gets out grabbing Niko pulling him to the other car which was Started. He hops on putting niko in the back seat. He
puts his foot down as bullets start firing at the car from the police. They got out lucky that time.
They pulled up at Alex's Place. Andre put Niko on the bed as he walked out, leaving him there.
Later that day, Niko wakes up. Andre sat on a chair next to him saying
"We fucked up, we are dead men"
Suddenly the door is kicked open
"Alex you little bitch, You failed me and now it is time to die"
Niko gets up, falling back over due to the fact of the pill, Andre pulls a deagle. Two men start running up the stairs,
Andre pulls the trigger, shooting one of the men. The man falls back pushing the other man back. Niko pulls himself together
and goes to grab his 357. Where is it? Niko Panics. Andre smiles handing Niko the AK-47
"Now its your Turn".
Niko raises making his way to the door. Fire from a M4A1 is heard. Niko hits the wall in cover, Andre ducks. Niko holds the
gun out of the room, blind firing at the men. Andre jumps up, with his Gun Yell firing like crazy. Niko pulls the gun back
reloading. He cocks it.
"WHAT NOW WE ARE PINNED"
Andre Smahes the the window, Using a hand sign to tell him to go, Niko climbs out the window, and hops down. Andre comes
next, both of them ditch their guns and hop some fences and run.
They walk their way to a hotel.Andre with small money he has buys a room for One night.
They gave a minute of silent for their Old fiend Alex. Niko eyes water, everyone he killed.
A year later, Niko at the age of 19. He moved in with his girlfriend. Not seeing Andre since that day. He lives his life in
happiness. Niko makes a Plan to visit his Mother and father. He gets in his car, takes a deep breath. And starts to drive,
He
pulls up at his old house, He knocks on the door. His Mother opens it and looks at him. Niko looks down in shame, she walks
up and hugs him
"Oh niko."
She starts to cry, Niko eyes water as a tear starts to run down them.
"I'm sorry, Mum, I'm so sorry".
She invites him as they sit down at the table. They sit down having a cup of coffee each. After a 4 hour talk, Niko got a
update on how everything was, both of his brothers moved out and his mother gave up on her job and that they planning on
moving house . Niko's Father walked in. He stool
"Niko..."
He runs up and hugs him. Niko sits their confused about why they are so happy to see him, 13 hours pass. Niko's phone goes
off, waking him up. He their led there on the sofa with a raging
headache. He sits up holding his hand.
"What the hell happened?"
He picks his phone up
"Hel--Hello"
"NIKO, Where are you?, Are you ok?, What are you doing?"
"Yea.. Yea I'm fine"
"Oh Thank GOD I was getti--- Booooooooooooooooo"
The phone cuts out. Niko stands up, the smell of Vodka fills the room. He starts to make his way to the door,He opens it. He
looks out, Its Boiling hot as he makes his step out. Something was not right. He checks the time, "2:45 PM". He keeps
walking out, He looks for his car.
"Where Is my car..?"
A note is found on the floor,
"Deer Niko, We are using your car for the day, ours ran out of fuel."
"Arr shit"
Niko makes his way to his girlfriends house, he opens the door. It was pitch Black... Niko hit the light swich it didn't
work. Niko takes out his Phone and hits "Light", The spring or light fires out from his phone, He slowly makes his way
around the house. Out of no where, Someone pops around and goes "Boo". Niko Jumps back in fear as he falls over. Suddenly
the lights come on, A click from a gun is heard as someone, steps around the corner. The man takes his Mask off a man with a
light beard, short hair. Niko glares at him as he remembers that face from somewhere.
"Sup NIko.."
"Andre.. You son of a bitch"
Andre offers a hand, as he says
"Long Time no See Niko, How you doing Mate"
Niko pulls himself up. His girlfriends walks around laughing as she says
"You should have seen the look on your face ahahahah."
They all make there to the Dinner table, a Lovely roast dinner lays down. They all eat happily.
After Watching a movie and having a few beers, Andre leaves. Niko and his girl friend lay on the sofa, half drunk. She looks
into Niko's eyes, he looks back. She slowly starts to make a move on him, Niko thinks as he kisses her. She smiles and
giggles a little before getting on him kissing him back. She then slowly moves her hand down "OK Cutting this part out"!!!
Chapter 5 | The Zone|
A few months later, Everyday, he would see the same person, His son. Age 5 months. Niko loved looking after His son,
his girlfriend got a job at the local shop, leaving Niko to Look after the child. He would welcome his girl friend home each
day with a nice cup Of coffee and a lovely cooked Dinner. Every now and then, Andre would pop in for a visit. They all would
enjoy watching movies and playing games. Life was prefect, Until. Until that one day. He looked walked around the streets, A
old Mafia friend came up to him, and told him about the Zone. After a Long hard thought, Niko forced himself to go to the
zone. Andre Said No he would not go. So Niko got up with a few old mates. They made their way to the Zone, The got into from
the military checkpoint, giving the militants some money to get in. They make their way down a path, or five of them. They
find a nearby stalker camp and learn a load of stuff about the zone. They get armed. A few days later. They all take a
stroll, Joking and playing about. A "Roar" is heard, Niko and the others draw their guns. All backing up to each other in
fear, A group of bloodsuckers Unclock and Ram the group over, Niko gets to his feet spreying widely with his AK-74u, he
drops it
and runs for his life, as he runs, he turns back and see the other getting ripped apart by the bloodsuckers. Niko makes it
to a nearby camp, he sits down by the fire and takes a minute to gather his thoughts of what just happened and how it was a
bad move to come here.
After a few days, He made some powerful friends. He got to know a supplier in the Zone who went by the name 'Pike'. He made
the chose to become a trader. 6 Mouths of dealing Out goods and making some profit. But it all went down when his supplier
got mugged and shot by bandits. He hired mercs to deal with the mess, forgetting that he would not be getting any supplies
no matter what. So he packed up and became a merc. 10000 rubles he had, he spent that in about 2 weeks. He was broke. He
meet a Stalker named Dweller, He helped him out major. They became good mates. The two slayed Bloodsuckers and removed
bandits. After dweller went mission for a while, Niko joined up with Orion Platoon, a merc group. He met many people,
'Syfer' 'Gear head' 'Hydra' 'Dragon' 'Green'. The merc became cold hearted killers. Attacking major factions, and dealing
with Bountys. They were a very powerful group. One day, the leader, ' Green went missing. They group broke up. Many of the
mercs when their own way. Niko left on his own. He found it hard. Until he meet up with Syfer and hydra again. Friends. That
was all what you need to stay alive, A man name 'Knife' became a good friend of Niko. Syfer, Knife and Niko, strolled the
Zone as good buddies. Until Niko went his own way for a while. Niko got back up with Dweller he worked at Freedom. Niko use
to piss off the leader of freedom, His Name "Yuri Babivol". Niko Pushed Yuri to the breaking point. That's when Niko ran
off. Kept his head down for a few weeks. He came back up from his hiding spot. Knife went missing.... He was gone all of a
sudden. Niko met up with Dweller again, Monolith forces growing. Dweller and Niko sat by a tunnel which led into Monolith
turf, NIko started walking in, with a couple of friends to find a group of stalkers who went missing. Dweller handed Niko
some dog tags. So Niko and his group walked around, He broke up with the other group... They were never heard of ever again.
Niko got pinned down under fire, he only just made it out alive. After a few months he started up a Stalker group called
Neutral cross. Him Kevin,Kergert and Andre. They ran it well, They pulled a few stalkers together and kept it running, until
Kevin was shot, kergert left. Niko ran off. Niko stayed close to Andre, They became good mates again.
Niko got a PDA message, Telling him that Dweller was killed. Niko went into shock, He grabbed his gun. He went crazy killing
stalkers, he met up with a stalker named petr, he gave advice about Dweller he was told Hydra, Gear head did it. So he told
hydra he would never see him again and if did he would kill him. Niko walked to Eco, hydra stood their, Hydra turned to Niko
at tackled him down to the ground after a little fight, Hydra yelled
"WHY"
He raised his Right arm, On it a Shape object with could break into bone. Niko feared his life was going to end until, Hydra
Punched him in the head with his Left arm, Then kicking him making him Feel dizzy and week, Hydra dragged him into a house.
After a long talk Niko was told "Dweller was part of the monolith Niko," Niko Felt sad and week, He got to freedom and
Talked to a Stalker named Dragon, a Master of the Zone.He told the same story. Niko felt betrayed from Dweller, Niko said
he was like a father to him. For a Joke when the military were active in the area, he insulted the military, the military
put a bounty on him. Niko ran and hid, meeting up with a few friends. Niko went walking on his own when he got shot in the
back, luckily a friend called Nikita walked past and helped him. She became a good friend to Niko, but when Niko talked to
petr about what he did.Petr Told him to do what dweller did, Stitch his mouth together for careless talk. Niko did it. Petr
then cut the hell out of Niko's face with a kabar. Niko still dose not know why. He walked into Freedom later that Day.
Nikita and Syfer were there, They asked why he was not talking. Niko slowly took his gasmask off, Nikita went crazy, Syfer
laughed sort of. After 2 days of it, From hate from Andre and nIkita. Niko Ripped the stitches out. He could talk, he went
to freedom to meet Nikita, She stood their was 6 stalkers around her, They led her off. Niko loaded his gun, Called from
back up. They gave the group a warning. They shot her.. Niko.. Went crazy. He opened fire, Syfer Fired, and a different
stalker helped. Niko killed two of them. As syfer picked 1 off and the other stalker kill two. Niko just went crazy. And
this is where he is now.
Thanks for reading
Sorry for my bad grammer
Nice :D
No one uses Glock 18s in real life. They are impossible to control on full auto, expensive, and rather uncommon (because most law enforcement agencies looked at it and went "Fuck that useless shit"). Stupid thing to complain about? Yes. Do I have anything better to do while waiting for my next class? Nope.
A good rule of thumb is "If it's in MW2/BO, it is not a gun that was ever used in large numbers irl". And before I get a whole bunch of smart asses thinking they can one up me on weapon knowledge ("But Paintcheck M4s and AK47s are common and they are in BO and MW2!"), please look up the definition for "Rule of thumb".
I'm sorry if you don't like it, It is just the guns i know and like.
"Niko use to piss off the leader of freedom, His Name "Yuri Babivol"."
Ya' wonder why.
I had to put that in Yorty :).
Your backstory makes as much sense as MW2's backstory.
Quote from: GoKiller on 24-08-2011
I'm sorry if you don't like it, It is just the guns i know and like.
Oh believe me the gun types you use in this story are not the biggest problem with it, the plot holes are. or example, you say Niko was wanted for 3 years. He and his cohorts get into a gunfight and kill 7 people (the 5 mobsters and the 2 in the car). Niko is hit and taken to the hospital, presumably the ambulance picks him up near where he fell (surrounded by corpses that filled with bullets of the calibers that he and his friends are carrying). You say the police
interviewed him in the hospital. If he was already wanted for 3 years
AND had pretty obviously just been involved in a fatal gunfight why do the police not arrest his ass the second he is fixed up enough to not die?
Paintcheck sticks around just to heckle people.
If he hates your writing, you should too.
Paintcheck, I said the other person Named Alex was Wanted
"Alex the oldest carried a 9mm pistol. His lucky glock 18 kept him
alive. Wanted by the police for 3 years he kept his head down and got shit done."
God, Can't i just write a backstory with out getting "Trolled". I just wrote this for a bit of fun, and You carry on trolling it.
Quote from: GoKiller on 24-08-2011
Paintcheck, I said the other person Named Alex was Wanted
"Alex the oldest carried a 9mm pistol. His lucky glock 18 kept him
alive. Wanted by the police for 3 years he kept his head down and got shit done."
God, Can't i just write a backstory with out getting "Trolled". I just wrote this for a bit of fun, and You carry on trolling it.
He's not trolling. It's actually normal criticising. Don't post your backstory if you can't take it.
He doesn't troll.
He's just very open when it comes to things he gets annoyed with.
^ That sums it Up Prefect.
If you can't take the heat of criticism then why make this a public story knowing that you are going to get some criticism. Just use this story as a refrence in a Word Document to retell when in a campfire with a stalker retelling their stories.
If you don't want to improve your writing/backstory then why post it on a public forum? Also you need to learn what trolling is. Critiquing is not trolling. If I really wanted to troll you also I would have posted a 800 word wall of text that did nothing but attack your atrocious grammar. Which I'd be happy to do anyway just so your complaints of "trolling" make sense.
That is probably the most goofy spacing I've ever seen.
Quote from: Plunger on 24-08-2011
That is probably the most goofy spacing I've ever seen.
It's a poem.
A fine story and I see that you made some effort in doing this one. I know it has some grammatical problems but that is something that can be understood when you're involved (no offence :P). It has a meaning that you finally made a backstory for this character as I've been seeing 'Niko' a lot and RPd and followed you at times. Shame you didn't mention the part when Oleg, Niko, Andre and some else journeyed together as bandits.
I give this story a four out of six. The back-story's a bit edgy and hard to understand some bits, and not the best thought out, but hey...it's alright for the most part. Better grammer and shit would bump you to a five, or four point five.